Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Why don't I feel an overwhelming love for my 10month old?

1 reply

Jsitk · 26/07/2024 20:20

Bare with me here... I don't know where else to turn without feeling like the worst mother on the planet.
I had my LB 10months ago after IVF so very, very wanted pregnancy, was delighted, couldn't wait to meet the baby etc etc. There were birth complications and I had to be asleep when he was delivered via c section then was in incubator most of that night. I got to do skin to skin but I can't remember it, it all feels like a blur. I also breastfed for 24hrs but then ended up with a post partum haemorrhage so back to theatre and asleep again while LB stayed with my husband, he took a bottle or 2 during this time and i was so exhausted i just kept bottle feeding. I know I love him but I just don't feel this 'I would kill for him' love and its beginning to worry me. I look after him and do things with him to the best of my abilities but I feel guilty to say anytime my mum/MIL offers to keep him (he's stayed overnight with each about 4 times) I'm nearly delighted at the thought of some peace, I do worry about him but.more about how he's slept etc so I know what form he'll be in when I get him again. He is the loveliest little character and full of fun and mischief but I'm just worried this isn't normal?! I do take Sertraline which I've been on before he was born. My husband says it's just tiredness but I don't know... its like there's a wall up that I can't get over to get the rush of love for him and it makes me feel awful when I think about it. I know I love wee things he does and it's not that I don't like him but it's just I don't feel how I imagine a mother is meant to towards their child?!
Thanks for reading so far, I'd love to know if anyone else has any experience of this please?

OP posts:
SameSurgeon · 26/07/2024 20:35

I think this whole gushy mother love thing is overhyped. That’s not love imo. That’s lust.

I don’t really feel anything when I think of my son or my partner. But my son had a BRUE event early on and stopped breathing. I remember holding him as he turned blue and feeling then my heart breaking, how I would kill for him, how I would swap my life for his. So I know I love him. But it’s not a gushy lust love. It’s a stable calm consistent almost even undetectable love. Because it’s just constant and unconditional. Like how it is with my long term partner. That’s true love imo. The other ‘love’ isnt. That’s just hormones or emotions.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page