I can't do this anymore

[ThrowAway80]

As the title says. I've been agoraphobic for 18 years and right now my mental health is in the gutter. I'm not living, I'm just waiting to die. It's just me and 20yo dd here and she's also agoraphobic now for the last two years. Her anxiety is even worse than mine at the moment.

The only support we have is my mum who's on holiday at the moment, due back tomorrow.

Dd has been really struggling this week and tonight she's so distressed and I can't help her. I can't even help myself, how can I possibly help her?

I've phoned 111 and we're waiting for a call back but there's literally no one else who can help and neither of us can leave the house. I can't bear seeing her like this, I feel so useless.

I feel like I've ruined her life.

I’m not sure I can say anything helpful but didn’t want to read and run. Are either or both of you under the community mental health team?

Can you book a phone appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to your Community Mental Health Team.

I also recommend phoning Rethink, a mental health organisation for further advice and support.

You haven't ruined her life 💐You can't help being unwell. You can both get through this. I hope 111 get back to you soon x

The Mind website has helpful advice to help you get through when you you are feeling despair. They have distraction techniques which may help you and your daughter x

I’m guessing you’ve tried mindfulness, relaxation techniques, square breathing, grounding etc? Have you had CBT before?

How are things now OP? Hope they have settled down a bit.

I know it’s really hard but your mum won’t be here forever so you need to do everything you can to work on this. Are you getting counselling for the acrophobia? Try and see a specialist - maybe some hypnotherapy?

Did your daughter go to school? Presumably this has got worse in the last few years if so?

You’re not useless and you haven’t ruined her life. First of all, she’s young and can change much easier than those of us at an advanced age, so please don’t worry about that. Yes, she may have picked up some habits but they can change - as can you and your habits. I’m not speaking about this without knowledge; I know first hand how debilitating agoraphobia can be. But regardless of how long it’s been, today is a new day; tomorrow another. Just because things have been a certain way for a very long time doesn’t mean they cannot change.

Sending you love and light, OP.

Try TMS or EMDR to shift anxiety and trauma. Don’t feel helpless, there’s a lot of tools out there to help you move forward

How are you doing OP? Xx