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Original poster

When is enough, enough?

3 replies

hk1993x · 22/07/2024 10:34

Won't bore you all with the back story but my mental health is increasingly getting worse. I don't want to do anything, I'm snapping at the kids, my husband etc. The anxiety is absolutely eating me alive causing me to become depressed even more 🥺. I'm tired, I have a psychiatrist appointment on Wednesday and I've said to them since last week I can't wait until then. I'm slowly surviving day to day and I also have ocd so constant intrusive thoughts.

When is enough, enough? I can't see a future for me. I'm absolutely miserable. I have everything to live for but I'm not living. I haven't got the balls to physically harm myself so whenever I am out driving etc, I actually pray that my car loses control, that I crash etc and that would be the end of my torment.

I don't know what the point in this post is, I just know everyone is better off without me. I'm just a massive burden to them all.

OP posts:
Original poster
hk1993x · 22/07/2024 11:00

I'm so glad I have this place to rant, I'm sure your all sick of my posts lol. I hope you are all doing well and living your lives ❤️

OP posts:
sentfrmmyiphone · 22/07/2024 11:10

been there, done that got the t-shirt! ive been battling my MH for many many years, I've begged and pleaded for help, I've self harmed, I've even at one point had to be put on 'house arrest' and the kids go stay with an aunt while i got better.

the problem is the NHS MH service is not fit for purpose.. how long have you waited for this appointment? unless its private, i'll bet its years and years?

after my last bout of illness... they threw medication after medication at me to see which one would stick and in the end i called it! enough was enough, i'm clearly not getting any help.. i admit i have MH problems, i have PTSD, OCD and dissassociative amnesia.. all from childhood and early adult trauma and its too much for them to deal with.

so i gave myself a really good talking too, i have awesome support at home and i am refusing to allow myself to sink that low again. When i need help from the GP in the form of fitnotes i have a good relationship with them, they know i am sick and tired of medication that only works for a short time and then stops working.

I am currently well and while i am well i make positive decisions about my life, changed my diet, added in exercise, added in some routines, and stopped dwelling on things and accepted them for what they were, they happened, i can't change that now, i realise how those things all those years ago affect me today and i breath and remind myself 'it's done and it can't be undone, don't let them beat you', and so far, touch wood, since March last year i've not had another episode!

and before people come for me, this is what has worked for me.. how long it will work i don't know. I've been medicated, almost sectioned, i've self harmed, i've run away and almost lost my children, i've put myself in unsafe situations and will self destruct if things were going well... i have just decided if no one will help me, i need to help myself.

good look with your appointment on wednesday and fingers crossed this carousel 🎠 you are on will slow down and eventually stop and you will finally be able to get your feet on the ground

Original poster
hk1993x · 22/07/2024 15:52

sentfrmmyiphone · 22/07/2024 11:10

been there, done that got the t-shirt! ive been battling my MH for many many years, I've begged and pleaded for help, I've self harmed, I've even at one point had to be put on 'house arrest' and the kids go stay with an aunt while i got better.

the problem is the NHS MH service is not fit for purpose.. how long have you waited for this appointment? unless its private, i'll bet its years and years?

after my last bout of illness... they threw medication after medication at me to see which one would stick and in the end i called it! enough was enough, i'm clearly not getting any help.. i admit i have MH problems, i have PTSD, OCD and dissassociative amnesia.. all from childhood and early adult trauma and its too much for them to deal with.

so i gave myself a really good talking too, i have awesome support at home and i am refusing to allow myself to sink that low again. When i need help from the GP in the form of fitnotes i have a good relationship with them, they know i am sick and tired of medication that only works for a short time and then stops working.

I am currently well and while i am well i make positive decisions about my life, changed my diet, added in exercise, added in some routines, and stopped dwelling on things and accepted them for what they were, they happened, i can't change that now, i realise how those things all those years ago affect me today and i breath and remind myself 'it's done and it can't be undone, don't let them beat you', and so far, touch wood, since March last year i've not had another episode!

and before people come for me, this is what has worked for me.. how long it will work i don't know. I've been medicated, almost sectioned, i've self harmed, i've run away and almost lost my children, i've put myself in unsafe situations and will self destruct if things were going well... i have just decided if no one will help me, i need to help myself.

good look with your appointment on wednesday and fingers crossed this carousel 🎠 you are on will slow down and eventually stop and you will finally be able to get your feet on the ground

Thank you for your reply, I'm glad your doing well 💜 I just need to keep myself safe until Wednesday and see where I go from there 🥹💜

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