Sick of a life of depression

[Nyeh]

I spend most of my time fine, and then suddenly it will hit and I will have 48 hours of hating myself and wanting to die.

I hav eupset DD so many times today and yesterday trying to be a good mum but clearly failing.

DS won't wear nappies but won't use a potty either.

I need to save money by cooking proper food but I am too useless to do it, I just sit on my arse doing f*ck all and then waste money on "easy" food.

I couldn't even manage a 3 day juice detox thing without quitting.

My house is a state, always. I have very "helpful" friends who tell me all the things I should do to keep on top of it. I know what I should do, but I am too f*cking useless and lazy to do it.

I know this is a blip and in 48 hours I'll feel better, but right now I am just sick of it all.

Poor you. At least you know the end is in sight for your mood to lift. BTW, a 3 day juice detox...I think you were brave to even try,don't be so hard on yourself!!

I think most people go through these black spells, I know I do...rest assured it will pass, don't beat yourself up, I'm sure you are doing a fine job.

Trygint to get to the end is the hard bit though I am snapping at people on here now too for no reason

Thanks about the detox It feels like yet another thing I have failed at.

Nyeh, what could you do when you feel low to raise your spirits?

Could you have a really hot deep bath, listen to your favourite music, have an early night, go for a run in the park,buy a naff magazine ,I don't know.

Just small pleasures that will make you feel life isn't so desperate.

And don't worry about pissing people off on here. Some posters make a career out of it!

I'm feeling a lot calmer now. I had the bath, spoke to my mum (had been upset by her during the day which was my final trigger), and have looked at the bank to decide if we can afford takeaway - and we can

You're all lovely people

hi nyeh we all have bad days .motherhood should come with a guilt warning.
none of us are perfect and there is no such thing as supermum she just doesnt exist.
i have to pay my kids to do chores for me otherwise they would be quite happy to sit in their own flith all day and im just to goddammed tired to do it all by myself

I think its really positive that you recognise when you are in the midst of one of your moods...and that you know you can come out of it in the end. Its when theres no hope thats the worry!

Try and keep some semblence of nice stuff just for you when you are down, it will make you feel better. And look forward to the good days, make the most of them. Good luck with the potty training!!

I think that it is because I know when it is happening and that it will life that makes me not want to be on ADs because I don't want to take chemicals for that 10% of the time that I am at my worst, when 90% of the time I am ok.

I am a lot brighter today. DD is cleaning her school shoes which she thinks is amazing (she's 4 )

I had a lay in. I have got up and got a few things sorted

DS is agreeing to nappy wearing

Thanks for your support, it really does help

Nyeh I am exactally the same and have been on and off AD's since I was 18. It hasn't got much better but now i'm older when I have my black days I know I will come out of it but at the time its just bonk.

I am currently studying and purchased this hypnotherapy cd by Glenn harold two weeks ago I bought one for my memory lol, due to lack of concentration. Feels like its working but thats irrelivant. Whats good though is It doesn't half clear my head when I listen to it and relaxs me completly which I have found impossible. My head reals with crap at night with guilt from shoutin at the girls or like you the fact they haven't eaten a healthy homecooked meal that day. Anyway just a thought the blokeys website is www.hypnosisaudio.com/index.htm

Loads of things on there.