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Not feeling quite right about therapist

2 replies

Hotcoffeeneeded9864984 · 17/07/2024 13:27

Hi all,

I have been going to therapy for around 7/8 months now and I have been on the fence as to whether this is the right therapist for me. For ref, I have childhood trauma and also quite severe birth trauma/health anxiety, which I thought I had processed with EMDR, but which has unearthed again recently.

My therapist is very often bringing herself or her own experience into sessions saying 'I know how you feel because..this or this happened to me, or my partner does that' etc. This is fine on some occasions, but it can take over what I have actually said and steer the focus away to her experience without looking at how I feel or the impact that thing has on me. I feel like there is a lot of projecting herself into the sessions.

She has also said things when I have mentioned something about my partner, yes it sounds to me like he could have some neurodivergence, as that is what her partner does. These are small things like he needs quiet time. Her partner has ASD.

In the latest session, I mentioned something about me feeling anxious that I need to give my toddler a lot of my attention and time or there is a lot of danger everywhere. I am quite hypervigilient, I think mostly because of the birth trauma and health anxiety. Rather than going into why I might be having these feelings, my therapist started to talk about had I thought that it might not be my anxiety and that my son might also be on the ASD spectrum, as her daughter also needed her full attention and was very clingy.

Feeling as though this is bringing too much of her own experience in and also whether it is even ethical to suggest these things without any evidence or basis.

OP posts:
junebirthdaygirl · 17/07/2024 14:01

This is not right for a therapist l believe. But remember you are allowed to challenge her if you feel up to it. Say exactly what you have said here and she should be able to deal with that in the session. I had therapy and l did find it helpful when the therapist spoke about his teenage son as that was one of my struggles but it was only briefly and in a very constructive way. But this sounds too much. Changing therapist may be the best option as, once you lose confidence in them the healing relationship has broken down.

bfrgggdsryvfg · 17/07/2024 14:06

I think you should change therapist, she doesn’t sound very good at her job.
By turning it around to herself it’s minimising how you are feeling and also in some ways using you as HER therapist. It’s ok for her to relate a little so you feel understood, but it sounds like she’s taking that too far and it could be quite damaging for you.

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