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I’m convinced I’m dying :(

2 replies

Loopylou20230 · 12/07/2024 02:49

hello, i guess I just need to let this out and hopefully see if anyone has any words of advice or just anything really :(

I’ve never really suffered with anxiety or health anxiety- only the odd panic attack now and again in my whole life, it was mainly just depression and childhood trauma :( anyways…

For the past month or so I’ve been convinced that I’m dying. I don’t know what’s triggered it but it’s been just before and ever since my relationship ended. I’ve been getting a feeling that there was a lump in my neck the doctor checked and said he couldn’t feel anything. That put my mind at ease but kept having these panic attacks all day and night out of nowhere. Petrified to fall asleep in case I die and constantly disassociated nothing feels real everything is foggy and I’m so scared I’m dying of cancer or something- I slept in a funny angle a month ago and now I’m getting severe neck and shoulder pain that has radiated to the collarbone it feels very muscular but I’m petrified I’m dying of cancer that has spread and I’m terminal. I didn’t feel this anxiety when I was depressed and suicidal for a few days recently but since that lifted the anxiety is back. :( I was prescribed the lowest dose of Valium and it didn’t really do anything at all. Could I actually be dying? I’m 24 :( my blood pressure has been on the high side recently which is making me panic even more!
no history of heart problems or cancer in myself or the family. This is ruining my life! I can’t even remember my days or recent events unless I try very hard. I’m scared I’m dying I’m so scared I’m constantly checking my pulse and seeing if it’s normal. I’m convinced my heart is going to slow and stop every single day. I’m too scared to go on antidepressants because of side effects (I’m a bigger girl who carries it well but can’t afford to put on any more weight! And also other side effects). Please can someone tell me I won’t die? :( this is eating me and my life up.
thank you xx

OP posts:
MyAmaryllisSeemsDead · 12/07/2024 03:07

Hello lovely, please calm down. You have literally explained life. It is good and bad, happy and sad, exciting and fucking terrifying. That is what life is. If you think that life can be managed by sitting at home, good luck. Try, it’s better than you think, we’ve got you, there are women everywhere who will hold you up, encourage you and welcome you, this is the Mumsnet, I believe is important

Gingerkittykat · 12/07/2024 04:03

Have you told your Dr about your fear of dying and all of the thoughts you are having?

It was an SSRI that took away the obsessional thoughts and fears I had about death.

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