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That meh feeling and flat mood - why does it suddenly hit you and how to get rid!

6 replies

Isthereeverenoughtineinaday · 10/07/2024 15:55

I'm 55 have a lovely life, I work hard (50 plus hours a week always seem to have to be available usually manage 1 day off per week) but thats ok so do most. I have friends that keep me busy - though recently realised although i'm a great friend (apparently) i do most of the arranging of things which is also makes me think maybe i'm not as popular as i think and if i didn't arrange things no one would. I don't have to worry about money and live in a nice area with two grown up children and a lovely DH. Nothing is wrong and that's the point, i feel so guilty about the fact that i have everything i need and i'm still not happy in my own skin! I just constantly seem to be battling to feel carefree and happy! My anxiety and low mood has got me like a tight ball of muscles which makes me feel rubbish!
I'm on HRT for around 5 years now which def helped the anxiety that crippled me in peri menopause but i'm desperate to feel how i used to feel - carefree, happy and be able to live in the moment and be on my own. If i felt more comfortable in. my own skin i think i would take time out on my own for self care. I eat well, sleep around 6.5- 7 hours a night, my job is active so easily hit 10,000 steps a day, i walk my dog but i can't seem to settle and be happy in my own company- does this sound familiar? My job means i often work solo and i just get restless and can't settle which ends up with my body aching all over and a lot of headaches. I have seen a counsellor in the past and get the strategies but these increasing low moods and headaches which accompany them are doing my head in - my shoulders feel so tight and tense maybe thats causing the headaches! anyone else feel this way - theres only so many times i can say tomorrows another day. I'm feeling like this now far too frequently

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 10/07/2024 16:44

The first thing that struck me is...50+ hours a week? That's a lot at any age. Why are you working such long hours when there is no financial need to? When did you last have a holiday?

ru53 · 10/07/2024 16:47

I’d be thoroughly miserable working 50 hours a week and I enjoy my job.

DoYouSmokePaul · 10/07/2024 16:51

I know exactly how you feel, OP. I think I feel a bit like all my life there has been a goal and a “next bit” to look forward to/aim for but now I’m actually settled and happy in my relationship, career, own our home, made the decision to be child free and I feel a bit like now what?! I don’t understand how to appreciate having a nice life. I feel I fritter away any spare time I have because I don’t know what to do.

MagpiePi · 10/07/2024 16:54

Are you sitting at a desk for 50 hours a week? I get a bit twitchy and achey and I only do half the hours you do. I run or weight lift most days but still find sitting still a problem.
General meh feelings for me are triggered by being cold, gloomy days, not having any interaction with people ( I live alone and wfh) and having rubbish sleep. I think that hormones also play a part despite being on successful HRT.

Isthereeverenoughtineinaday · 10/07/2024 18:34

Thanks everyone - no my job is in hospitality and organising ! I love the job but I often have lot of peoples thoughts and dreams ! Bring a perfectionist makes me over deliver ! Plus there’s the nervousness about forgetting something that’s important ! Menopause doesn’t help that . My job is not sedentary at all - maybe a couple of hours across the day answering e mails. I’ve just had a holiday which was great - and didn’t want to go back to work tbh - my DH never sits still so I guess that keeps me feeling the need to be on the go.
I’m not in the financial position where I can give up work and job can’t be done PT.

You’ve inspired me to get strong and have 2 days off each week and not check mails - it’s my right ! - no one will die !! And get to bed before midnight (tend to play wordle etc in bed) I need to set ground rules !! I think you’re right that physical exhaustion might be a contributing factor. I just feel so guilty feeling flat and low when so many people have so many problems and just crack on !
booked a shoulder and neck massage too !!

OP posts:
hk1993x · 11/07/2024 10:52

Hey OP! I noticed you said perimenopausal in your post, can I ask what age this was about? I'm being investigated for this and I'm only 31 🥹 I have lower end of normal estrogen levels etc and to get the bloods repeated. I also have crippling anxiety and low mood, can I ask how the HRT helped your anxiety? I am beyond desperate now x

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