How to keep going

[ThePointIsBlunt]

First off, if you have the time, thank you for reading.

I have suffered for migraines for 15 years. They are crippling and as a result my mental health has suffered. I also went into menopause at 31 - I am now 35.

I am just really struggling with keeping going. In January I was referred to mental health nurse. I received a phone call from her today. She is unable to proceed with any care because I have also been referred to a psychiatrist for ADHD diagnosis. I know I have ADHD but it is an 18 week wait to see a psychiatrist and I really do not know how to keep going. I am feeling everything too much and extremely emotional which is making each day such a challenge. Has anyone got any advice? I’ve been in full blown fight or flight mode since January and don’t know how I am going to make it another 4/5 months. I am absolutely exhausted physically and mentally from this and feeling very alone. I have spoken to my partner about this, me over thinking is an issue and as a result he has disconnected emotionally from me. Which I understand. I just don’t know how to keep going. I try and keep busy but for my mind it’s just not enough.

any advice is hugely appreciated.

So sorry to hear you feel like this. You sound absolutely burned out. Are you working? Can you take any time off to try and rebuild? Are you able to get any even short term medication to take your body out of fight or flight more. Sorry I have no more helpful advice. I also feel exhausted every day and have ongoing stomach issues which drain the life out of me. I just wanted to make sure you got a response and you’re not alone in this.

Thank you. I haven’t worked since December last year because my migraines are so severe. I have plenty of time to myself but never able to switch off. I need to go back to the doctors and see if they can do anything to help short term. I do not want to go back on anti-depressants if the root cause of my issues is ADHD. But yes absolutely burnt out, brain in overdrive for no reason. I know I am being irrational but when you are down that dark hole, it’s so difficult to get out. I was given melatonin for a while to help me sleep but the doctor doesn’t want me on that long term so as a result I’m currently sleeping about 4 hours a night and dozing through the day. I really am trying my best, I try meditating, trying to learn how to control my emotions and got a self help book on overthinking. I think my brain has been in overdrive for so long, it doesn’t know any other way and it is horrific. I don’t enjoy anything anymore because in my head I think “prepare for the worst so you are not disappointed” which is the worst frame of mind. I used to be so bouncy and bubbly and feel like I have completely lost myself. Sorry you are not feeling great in yourself with your stomach issues.

Get your b12 levels checked if you haven't already. there's such a strong link between MH issues and low B12.
Second, magnesium will help you sleep.

Stick with the meditation even if it's the counting your out breaths for minute type, slow and deep breathing. Consider yoga too. If you can, go for a long walk daily 45mins to an hour or longer if you can. Stop napping in the day. Stick to a strict bedtime and get up time, regardless of amount of sleep. Could also try a sleep track or talking book for half an hour when you go to bed. It is possible to train yourself to fall asleep to a certain piece of music or voice. One of Monty Dons gardening books does it for me. A friend uses Stephen Fry reading Harry Potter. Classical music will usually work for me too. Same thing all the time, so it's not stimulating, but has to be something you like in case you remain awake otherwise it'll just be irritating.

You are probably already not consuming caffeine? What's the rest of your diet like? Have you ever tried fasting? Or meat/dairy free?

try doing jigsaws, sudoku or crosswords in the evening. The sort of thing you need to concentrate on but it's all about patterns. It can help some with the overthinking busy brain issue.

The migraines and lack of sleep could be linked. And possible ADHD - try managing your levels of stimulation in the day, think light levels, calm activity, quiet environments. I'm not an expert but I know a couple of people with this and they talk about it openly and what helps them.

@ThePointIsBlunt I understand not feeling like going to the doctors. I’m the same for some reason I just cannot be bothered calling being asked if it’s urgent not really knowing, waiting two weeks for a quick chat etc. Are they doing anything for your migraines at all? Chronic pain is completely depressing and it’s not surprising your mood is so low. Four hours sleep a day is really not enough so I’m not surprised you’re completely strung out. Would something short term like diazepam help?

Hi I’m so sorry you’re dealing with so much at the moment.
I suffer with migraines and at times have been excruciating. My doctor prescribed Sumatriptan which has been a game changer for me. Is it something that you’ve been offered or could ask your gp about?
Not being able to sleep and being sleep deprived makes you feel worse and can also cause headaches. While you’re waiting for your appointment I think you should be really kind to yourself and try to do things that lift you no matter how small. The meditation will help, especially the breathing exercises and for sleep you could try yoga nidra, there are lots of videos on you tube for you to listen to at night.
If you feel you’re able then I’d suggest a gentle yoga class, concentrating more on relaxation, it could help your fight or flight feelings at the moment.