Signed off work - what to do.

[Emilyjayne9421]

I’ll keep this as short as possible. I was signed off work for two weeks as I became depressed and despite forcing myself into work every day for months, it caught up with me and I was crying in work, not being able to produce good work anymore etc. This is my second week and I really want to go back next week if I’m up to it. I don’t want to take longer than is needed.

Last week I was prescribed sertraline and the side effects along with the depression meant I spent most days in bed last week, only getting up to take my kids to school and to collect them.

This is my second week off and I’m feeling a bit better. Side effects aren’t as bad and I feel a bit lighter in myself. Anyway, I’m wondering if anyone has any ideas of what I can do with my time this week to get myself in the best place I can mentally. I work in a professional career and I have studied and worked for many years around my kids to get this job. I won’t be pushing myself back if I’m not ready next week but I want to be. Any ideas? I don’t want to lay around in bed. I do have a coffee with a friend planned for tomorrow. And my husband has been amazing and has encouraged me to get out for walks.

I need to add my job isn’t the source of my depression and anxiety - it’s a great place to work and I’m well supported by my manager. It has been external things that seemed to be situational at the time, which have led to something deeper, hence why I’m now on medication.

Are you getting some talking therapy? Either referred via GP or privately? I'd highly recommend.

Other good things:
Get outside and into daylight as soon as possible on waking
Journalling
Swimming
Cold showers (or finish a hot one with cold water
Sit in nature
Knit, crochet, bake, draw, colour in - use your hands in some way
Sing - with others if you can, but if not then alone with a playlist you like is fine
Talk to a friend every day (not just text)
Yoga
Meditate - headspace and calm apps do free trials

Obviously you don't need to do all of these, I don't mean this to be an overwhelming list. It's still v important to rest

I would just do things that you enjoy whether that’s reading books/listening to podcasts/booking exercise classes/ going swimming or whatever.

Don't rush back before you are ready. Personal experience.

Thank you for the suggestions. I have self referred for talking therapy which I’m waiting on. I know it will be a while. I have also paid for a private session which I have tomorrow evening, just to straighten some things out in my head. I can’t afford to do another after this but I’m doing what I can to get better. I think I will take myself for a swim this afternoon before picking the kids up. And I would love to start reading again so I might pick up my kindle which has been neglected for months.

I can actually hear the hope in your words! Walking is always great if you can manage it, spring cleaning - get that energy boosting, if it’s your thing have a pamper afternoon- face/hand/foot/hair masks. Paint your nails - my f&f can always tell I’m feeling better when I do my nails, read a book, go shopping - window or otherwise. Try stay away from the coffee - have some fruit smoothies - give those taste buds a shock, if you’re doing the dinner step the table up a notch- use the ‘nice’ glasses for water and put the water out in a jug - add some cucumber to it - looks and tastes fab. A lot of what I do at this stage starts visually eg the nice colours of smoothies, the cucumber water. Works for me but everyone’s different.

Firstly.... I'm sorry you're going through this it's tough. Hopefully the sertraline will kick in soon and you can start to feel better.

One thing I've found really useful is the Calm app- lots of guided meditations and sleep stories. Definitely look into this.

Also, what does your self care look like? Do simple, easy things at first- buy and light a nice smelling candle and burn it ever evening- just enjoy a darkened room with gentle lighting. Take a leisurely bath with lots of bubbles. Go for a gentle walk- not far, just as much as you can manage.

Book a spa treatment- a facial or a massage. Do something for you- do you have a low key hobby you can do? Like crochet or sewing, anything like that? When you're lacking motivation, it can be really hard to start stuff like this so don't do too much. Build it up.

I found mundane physical tasks very soothing - started ironing pillowcases and bedsheets while listening to woman's hour. Or baking cakes, batch-cooking for the freezer, doing a bit of weeding and gentle gardening. Anything non-stressful which kept me busy in a pottering-around kind of way.

Also watching classic old movies.

Hope you feel better soon and remember to be very gentle with yourself. My recover took a very long time and I am still super-careful about my mental health. Because I'm worth it. We all are.

So it took me a long time to learn that there are different types of rest. There's obviously physical rest which is sleeping or lying in bed which I would have done a lot of if I felt burnt out or low. But actual proper mental rest was doing things that boost my connection to others, connection to myself, my connection to nature and my physical wellbeing. So eat well. Tasty, nutritious food. Going walking in nature somewhere peaceful is great. Spending time with the people who love you in a non pressured way. Listening to music. Doing art or any other passion/hobby you have. Bathing and taking care of your appearance. Basically just taking care of yourself gently in a non pressure way and doing the things that make you feel good. It might help to think about what others would see you doing/ what you'd naturally find yourself doing when you're in a good healthy happy place. And then what things would you find yourself doing when you're not in a good place/ what would others see. Then make a point of doing the things you'd do if you're well (baking, showering regularly, spending time with people) and pay attention to the things that mean you're on a spiral (eating badly, staying up late, avoiding responsibility, withdrawing, not washing hair etc) just whatever that looks like for you.

I'd also recommend using counselling which you're on the ball with to unpick the things that have been contributing to you feeling low and what's been burning you out and develop strategies for that. I'd also spend time thinking about whether or not you need to be off for longer or if you need a phased return in work to help you manage everything until that's in place.

Do whatever brings you some mental peace. And l agree with @Gettingbysomehow that you shouldn’t put pressure on yourself to rush back to work next week unless you really feel like you want to. The main priority is for you to get better.