Why am I like this

[User628291938949]

This might be long, I'm just going to write how I'm feeling.
For as long as I can remember I've been an over thinker, worrier even as a little girl I'd feel the need to tell my mum everything I did just so I didn't feel guilty.
Fast forward to me being in my 20s I started suffering with intrusive thoughts, awful lines that made me so poorly and feel alone, I opened up to a friend so I thought and they ended up telling others, at the time I was over sharing my feelings because I was so mentally unwell so a lot of people knew. Now 15 years on and it's affecting me so much, thinking of all the things I opened up about and now I feel like everyone knows and they are judging me like I am these thoughts( if this makes sense) it's getting to the point where I think everyone is talking about me and doesn't like me😔 I have close friends who I know I'll have forever and the people I care about I know they care about me the same. So why am I so bothered ? And why do I feel so paranoid that if someone looks at me funny or doesn't say hello I simply assume that's why? Gosh I hate these thoughts it's making me feel terrible I feel like a horrible person and like I'm being made out to be one.
Sorry if this doesn't make sense but if anyone can help with anything I truly appreciate it x

There's a phrase I use a lot, both for myself and clients - "nothing matters and nobody cares". Sounds really negative right? But it's actually very freeing; it doesn't matter that you opened up and no one you told back then care about that now and probably wouldn't have remembered it within months, never mind years.

Can you remember something you were told 15 years ago (that didn't affect you personally)? Do you judge people for being unhappy or for baring their soul when they are in a dreadful place? No - of course you don't. Please, accept that you, like every other person on the planet, made some unwise choices in the past which you learnt from - that's what's known as being human.

Forgive yourself, love yourself and live in the present - no good comes from dwelling in the past.