Can you be depressed for decades?

[Soapandwateronly]

Or is that your personality?

I worry that I have confused being unhappy with depression. I am unhappy but does that mean I'm depressed?

Depression is more often characterised by feeling numb/unable to feel any emotion. Some people are naturally inclined to be somber or serious which is their natural personality rather than a mental health issue.

What are you unhappy about?

Yes you can. See your GP s/he can help you figure it out and/or refer you to a mental health professional (grossly underfunded under the Tories, so there will be a long wait) for an assessment.

Yes I'm very serious and never have a laugh and that is possibly my personality.

I do feel emotions and I am not in control of my emotions. I didn't know it was something you could control. I am crying in the street, in shops, at work.

I have a few things I am very unhappy about but I don't know if I can do anything about them.

Then your first port of call should be your doctor - you can get help whether it be medication or counselling and it's never too late to ask for help.

The Samaritans are brilliant at just listening and being there for you.

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

I've been on the phone to the samaritans most weeks since primary school. I used to call them from a phone box with 5p and they would call back. I have a mobile phone now and I'm not in primary school.

I haven't found GPs to be helpful. That sounds negative but I have moved many times and been to many GPs. I have been prescribed SSRIs but they have made no difference. This is why I think maybe I am not depressed.

I am not in control of my emotions. I didn't know it was something you could control. I am crying in the street, in shops, at work.

I'm not a medic and I imagine there may be other causes for this - depression does seem pretty likely, though.

Different SSRIs work for different people, also in different doses and combinations. My sixth prescription made a difference! I should think that telling your GP practice the phrase I've quoted would be enough to get you seen.

Good luck It's worth persisting.

This sounds like emotional dysregulation. It can be a symptom of depression or stress or even ADHD.

SSRIs don't work for everyone (although you really need to persist and be completely consistent with taking them to be sure). But there are other options.

The GPs have seen me crying in various places. It's a small town. I'm known for it.

If your doctor sees you weeping in Tesco, they won't rush up and invite you to discuss. Please make an appointment. Tell the receptionist why, as they may prefer to book you in with the CPN for an evaluation.

I am not expecting anyone to approach me in public. Was that how it came across? I am sorry, I am a complete idiot. I can't explain anything.

No! That's not how it came across at all.
The poster was saying that you have to approach the GP and that they won't just interfere as it could be not what you want if you were upset in the street.

Perhaps you could see a different GP and explain it how you have here.

Yes you can have depression like you're describing.
I had no idea all my teens and in my younger yrs that I did.
We're talking 40 plus yrs ago now.
I just thought it was me and that I was somehow not right.

I'd see a new GP if possible.

You do sound a bit like my mum op.

She is in her 70s now but has been depressed her whole life as far as I can tell. However it is only in the last decade she has worked out why. My daughter was diagnosed with ASD aged 8 and ADHD a few years later. Mum recognised herself in her granddaughter. She has read about autism and although getting a diagnosis is more difficult at her age it is helping her understand why life is hard for her.

She is very serious, she struggles socially, she constantly overthinks every social interaction. She has difficulty regulating her emotions and responding appropriately. She was not able to hold down a job or do well in school but she is clearly intelligent. Her life has been a series of missed opportunities, bad relationships and lonely. But even now it has helped her hugely to gain insight into why she is as she is and to forgive herself. She is happier, in her own way.

Self knowledge is valuable and so op I would encourage you to seek answers for what your sadness and emotional disregulation is rooted in. You are not broken, there will be a reason, maybe several and you deserve support.

I would also echo that it's worth getting checked for ASD. It sounds like you might have difficulty interpreting your emotions, which could be a sign. Look up interoception. People with ASD often have difficulty with this.

If it's ASD then antidepressants won't help. But finding out more about it and getting a greater understanding of yourself will. There is a huge autistic community out there. You're not alone.

From what you've said, it sounds like the times you're most sad is when you're out and about. At the shops, work etc. When there could be lots of sensory issues going on that overwhelm you.

I'd hazard a guess that you feel a lot happier when you're at home in a safe space?

I have long suspected ADHD. I can't be referred because I am not currently working and they will only refer if it is affecting me at work. I can't afford private.

No, it isn't worse when I am out. It's much better. I loathe being at home and don't view it as a safe space. If I went now to a cheap hotel I would view that every bit as homely and comforting as my home. I enjoy my own company but I much prefer being out and about and chatting to others. I don't get overwhelmed by crowds or noise. I am good socially and I believe I am emotionally intelligent. I'm probably not very interesting for people to chat to du to lack of proper career and interesting life. I believe I am ND but not really in the way you are suggesting.

I wonder about my childhood. I remember crying and being laughed at. Then banging my head on a concrete floor and being laughed at more. The parent who laughed still laughs when recounting this. It was a regular occurrence, not a one off.

I was prescribed prozac in 1989 when it first became available, then seroxat when that came out a few years later. These are the only things that have ever been offered. I am even offered them for physical conditions, such as arthritis. That's another thread.

Well I do hope you can get to the bottom of it. There will be a root cause. If you're ND in some way then there is support out there and you deserve to find it.