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I don't know how to carry on

5 replies

PlaydoughBarbershop · 20/06/2024 21:24

I don't even know why I am writing here. I have no realy friends and don't want to talk to my family about how I am feeling, but I am so depressed, lonely and feeling totally worthless in life. I have no right to feel this way. I have a husband and 2 healthy children, a lovely home, a great job. But I feel like everyday is just another day of existence. My husband has gone on a health kick recently and become judgemental in a passive aggressive type of manner. I have let myself go so much but have lost all sense of purpose in even trying to make an effort. My children are typical teens and switch between kind and funny to moody and disrespectful. I have started to drink most nights as a way to numb this overwhelming sense of worthlessness. Nobody would ever know how I feel as I have put on a mask for so many years and now I just feel so alone. I cry most days when I'm alone and HATE myself for not being the wife I was 15 years ago. I have just snapped at my Husband for rolling his eyes at me and have had to drive to a nearby park to sit alone and have a good cry. I can't carry on like this anymore. I don't see the point in feeling miserable and making everyone around me tread on eggshells. So sorry for the long post. I just needed an outlet from anyone who may be here

OP posts:
Finallyiamleaving · 20/06/2024 21:31

Sending you lots of love. Book an appointment with a doctor and explain how you feel. Could it be perimenopause related?
There will be others posting with fabulous advice. Use this group; it’s a wealth of positive women who care for each other. Take care.

Dolly567 · 20/06/2024 21:38

How old are you? Could it be perimenopause sorry if I am way out hope you feel better soon x

Peachesandfizz · 20/06/2024 21:41

I couldn't read and not post. I absolutely know how you feel as I feel very much the same, maybe not to the same degree but I completely understand.
Sending you lots of love, you are definitely not worthless. Xx

PlaydoughBarbershop · 20/06/2024 22:21

I am 36 and just exhausted with the whole charade. I do almost everything around the house with very little help whilst my Husband now spends his time in the gym, going on sunbeds and giving me daily updates on how healthy he is being and how great he feels. Just feels a kick in the teeth and makes me feel completely shit. He never says I look nice when I make an effort so I just don't see the point any more. I pay to have my hair done, have started taking skin care seriously and bought lovely new make up to give me some get up and go, but is it worth it for only work colleagues to pay me the occasional compliment? And I know 100% my husband is not being unfaithful. He is obviously just living his best and healthy life and I don't seem to fit in with it anymore. My heart is just breaking that my life seems over. This can't be it!

OP posts:
Finallyiamleaving · 21/06/2024 20:43

My own sense of self has changed and become more positive after listening to several podcasts. For me it was the therapy I couldn’t afford. At 55, I am becoming the strong independent woman who I had hidden inside of me.
Many years of wishing my husband would have an affair and leave me or give me an excuse to leave him. Everyone thought he was wonderful.
I’m now looking in the mirror each morning, liking the person I see, promising that I will look after the woman I see.
The podcasts I liked are Mel Robbins and Dr Chatterjay.

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