Worried about losing my job over ADHD as an adult

[Alicew00]

I'm a mum of 3. I am repeatedly being told to slow down at work.
Keep burning myself on the cooker because I don't think about things before doing it. Everything's a rush. Customers at work tell me things and I have to ask them to repeat what they said. I asked someone what they wanted but they said they had already told me. Now that I look back I realise I could never pay attention in school and I didn't know how to do the work most of the time because I blanked most of the instructions out of my mind even though I looked like I was paying attention. I can't stand too much noise. I'm always forgetting things. And I always feel like people don't really like me that they are just pretending. I've done many free quizzes online and they have a high score. Had a free call to see if It was worth looking at an assessment and they said yes. It makes so much sense. Unfortunately my eldest two children also saw my mood swings and short fuse
They're teens now and happy and healthy
:-(
I'm just worried about losing my job now

Op I’m the exact same and weighing up if a diagnosis will benefit me. But I can totally relate and never realised things I find such a struggle are easy for other people until recently. I found I was worse after having kids but interestingly an old manager asked me had I explored adhd. So maybe I was the last to notice the red flags (probably wasn’t paying attention long enough😂)

Yea I get that too lol. Absolutely after having kids I feel got worse too.

Are you diagnosed? I understand that you can ask for accommodations with a diagnosis and it will be much trickier for them to fire you (if the reason is ADHD related) but I know that can take a while.

There are things you can do to manage it and help even without a diagnosis/medication. I am medicated now but I did have 7 years unmedicated after initial diagnosis. If you are undiagnosed into adulthood too you'll likely have lots of unhelpful coping mechanisms which can cause problems of their own.

In conversations with customers - do you have the option to slow it right down and take notes as you talk? This helps me a lot.

With ADHD, working memory capacity is affected - it's not that you aren't paying attention to what people are saying/instructions at school etc, it's more like your mental "scratch pad" is smaller than other people's. Our ability to hold things in mind while we work on them is very compromised, so it helps a lot to get information out of your head and onto something external. With everyone's working memory (ADHD or not) if you try to keep too much in there, it sort of gets "shoved off the other end" and disappears into the ether. I think ADHDers have a double whammy of having a smaller working memory capacity, but also trying to shove too much on there often because we tend to lose things like notepads, lists etc so it feels "safer" to keep it in mind but it's very much not!

Hormones can affect it in women too so they call it the four Ps - puberty, progesterone, pregnancy, perimenopause. ADHD can worsen at all three of these times of life and the progesterone part is about the menstrual cycle - many women find that their ADHD symptoms are worse in the week before their period.

Hi op. I have adhd and am medicated, have been for years. I have always struggled with focusing at work and understanding what people are saying. My medication helps about 70 percent of the time but it really has its downsides. My boss is really good about helping me, but ultimately I still struggle because my brain just doesn't work the same way other people's does.

I often ring people up and ask them to talk me through exactly what they meant at a meeting as I struggle to get my head around it, it's embarrassing. I've worked hard to get where I am, I'm a single parent and struggle with money, I work in a 45k job and yet can't grasp normal every day things and it's horrible.

I feel for you op

I feel for you too. Thanks for all replies. That's good that your boss helps and yes it's very embarrassing! 45k is alot. I only get 21k ☹️ I didn't get good grades in school and can't/don't comprehend getting another job

I've just been diagnosed and I'd recommend trialling medication.

I'm sure you are great at your job. Have you gone for a formal assessment? Speak to the GP about right to choose.

I'm going to go with right to choose and get an assessment

ADHD is classed as a disability under the equality act. If you do receive a diagnosis, inform your employer and ask them to refer you to occupational health. They should be able to make adjustments for you. It would be unlawful if they sacked you because of it.

I have ADHD and struggle in an office job. I forget I've read emails and everything piles up. People emailing me asking why I haven't responded etc.

Success only comes when I externalize everything. It all goes on a list.

Unfortunately my eldest two children also saw my mood swings and short fuse
They're teens now and happy and healthy

Definitely think about the impact long term. Both myself and my sister are diagnosed and it’s clear my mum has ADHD. Her lack of impulse control and her inability to control her emotions has had a detrimental impact on our relationship and is now pushing away her granddaughter. For example, my mum made a big thing of decorating her box room so she could have my daughter to stay regularly. Before the room was used her impulses took control and she redecorated it so it’s no longer a room for sleep overs. My daughter was gutted and at 4 years old has commented that grandma doesn’t know how to love.

As my mum is still refusing to manager her disability, I’m already low contact and she’s already pushing away her granddaughter.

I have adhd

I am not medicated but I survive by doing the following to make my life less hectic and less stressful. It's not just about how you do in work you need to make sure your outside life out of work is as organised and as peaceful as possible and it will all impact your working life

1. I declutter my home I don't have stuff only kids toys which yours are teens so that's not a worry for you

2. one evening a week I do a foot spa, face mask, hair mask, paint my nails, exfoliate and moisturise

3. I do the one touch process which means if something is in my hand I resit putting it down somewhere random and I put it away

4. one night a week I have a takeaway or a pizza thrown in the oven so my mind doesn't have to worry about second what to eat, cooking tea and washing up and putting it away

5. lavender in every room

6. I where one headphone in work when doing paperwork to help me focus in my task and ignore other colleagues - well I used to I know work on my own because I can't stand the noise of other people it distracts me

7. I watch people lips when they are giving me their answer and repeat it back to myself in my head or I write It down exactly when they are saying it so I can get their answer/ instruction correct

8. try chewing gum or sucking a mint if your allowed in work that helps your concentration

9. get plenty of sleep and lavender on every room

10. before speaking or answer someone take a breath and count to 3 to slow yourself down

11. get a fidget ring

12. be you