Intrusive thoughts over recent accident - how do I stop?

[BibbityBopBoo]

Trigger - Injuries

A few weeks ago I tripped up and fell while carrying my toddler. Fortunately she was absolutely fine despite knocking her head - my knees took most of the impact due to the way I fell.

But I literally re live this incident multiple times a day, keep going over what would have happened had I fallen differently and she had cracked her head open on the kerb, or was facing forward and knocked her teeth etc. It's like my brain is torturing me. I keep thinking how my life could be different, how my daughter could be dead or brain dead in hospital. It's becoming excruciating.

I have anxiety and am just tapering off sertraline at the moment on the advice of my doctor having being on it over a year, so maybe it's connected to that but my MH has been really good until this point, I'm just so gutted about all of this.

Is there any way I can stop all these intrusive thoughts?

Big hugs.
You can try and tell yourself that the alternative narrative to this is that when you did actually trip, your baby did not get hurt. Your instinct to protect her meant you took the fall.
We can't stop accidents happening by thinking about them any more than we can make them happen. These are 'just' thoughts and fundamentally your baby is safe.

Thank you for your kind words @Beamur . You are right and I truly hadn't thought of it in that way before!

I really just wish I could stop the whole thing popping into my head at random times through the day 😔

Thoughts do just pop into our head and it can be hard to ignore them, sometimes it's easier to just acknowledge the thought but recognise it's just that, a thought.

At the moment it's a thing that happened recently and a shock, with a bit of time it won't play on your mind like this.

I agree with @Beamur too - the reality is your amazing maternal instinct to protect kicked in and you took all the damage - I’m sorry you were hurt but it’s a beautiful thing that we have that in us. Something similar happened to me when DC was tiny, I ended up getting smacked in the face but DC was entirely unharmed thank god!

Maybe keep the meds the same for a bit?

Dh is having some issues with intrusive thoughts. He finds mindfulness meditations helpful, such as on the headspace app. He's started talking St John's wort for anxiety, but you can't take it if you'd still on sertraline. He's had cbt in the past.

The only thing that helped me (after I watched my 3 year old niece split her head open on my watch in my garden) was to literally let the image come into my mind and physically throw my hands up as if pushing it way, say NO and then immediately think of her smiling face, it truly helped me but you look a bit bonkers for a few days. Good luck, time and distance will also help.

I had a traumatic incident with my 6yo DD and intrusive thoughts were crippling me. I had a couple of EMDR sessions which were fascinating and very effective. It works by getting your brain to move the memory somewhere to be processed, or something like that.

It could be the reduction in your medication contributing to these thoughts. When I try to reduce it really messes me up in many ways. Is now a good time to be trying to stop your ADs? Don't let your GP pressure you just because it's been a year. The time has to be right for you.

Thank you all so much for all the suggestions! I am going to look into each of them, I'm just beating myself up so much even though my daughter is OK. I really do want to stop the medication eventually but I know I can't rush it.

I hope your niece is OK now @duddlepuckj and you and your daughter @Wrapunzel . And your face @AtrociousCircumstance !

Your brilliant mind is trying to protect you and your DD from another mishap. Try doing this: do NOT think of a blue elephant! Do not do it!
Are you able to stop thinking about the blue elephant? No of course not.

Try now to tell yourself to worry about falling again. Please worry ! Every time this thought comes to mind, encourage yourself to keep worrying. Soon you will no longer be able to worry because you will have tried so hard. This is called paradoxical intention.
It works .