Maternity leave & sickness after traumatic birth

[MumOfEmi]

Hi everyone,

I am currently on maternity leave, on statutory pay until August and no pay until November to complete 12 months of total leave which is the maximum allowance in the UK.

My pregnancy was turbulent and my baby's preterm birth a traumatic experience, life-threatening for both baby and myself, followed by a 9-week neonatal unit hospitalisation. While I've been on survival mode for most of the time, it is now all hitting me hard and I am experiencing psychosomatic symptoms. I am seeking counselling and taking all steps needed to deal with my problem.

Besides my baby's and my own hospitalisation and long neonatal stay, my maternity leave started right after I gave birth which meant a large chunk of it was spent in hospital. I find this so unfair! I now feel I need more time to support my baby grow healthily and heal myself, therefore I can't go back yet. However, the lack of pay August-onwards is challenging.

I've been considering to terminate my maternity leave and claim sick leave for the last few months until ~November, the GP has confirmed they will provide a fit note. My company allows to be off for up to 6 months, fully-paid for the first 3 and at half-pay for the other 3 months. I am reluctant though. I am afraid terminating mat leave removes a a level of protection I have, as a mother, and HR may try hard to bring me back or take certain action if I'm away on long-term sickness.

What do you think of that? Will HR give me a hard time and try to bring me back to work? Do you have any experience doing the same?

I'm also nervous thinking "what if I eventually decide I am not ready yet to return in November?" I could potentially trigger sick absence then instead.

Any advice welcome! Thank you.

Be careful because if you go onto sick leave, you aren’t protected from dismissal. You also usually need to give eight weeks’ notice to finish your maternity leave early.

I was off sick after my maternity leave ended (my baby died in the neonatal unit) and for less time than you are suggesting but despite never triggering sick warnings and being at the company over a decade, they threatened to fire me. Some managers and companies have no idea of the mental impact some things can have on people, and no empathy towards it either.

Honestly OP I really wouldn’t do this. As previous poster has suggested you lose the protections you have while on maternity leave, and your employer could well make your life quite difficult. Especially because you could take the additional 3 months maternity leave to give yourself the time you may need, so coming back and immediately going off sick won’t look brilliant for you and as previous poster says the employer could make your life more stressful than it already is.

I wouldn't of you can avoid it, take maternity until November. You might still need sick leave even then, who knows.
Also remember you accrue holiday which will be on full pay so you could add a few weeks to the end of your maternity or end your maternity in October and go back in November so you would be on full pay again for the last month (this is what I did both times so only had 2 months no pay instead of 3)

I am so sorry, @UpInTheTrees 💐

Sorry to hear this. If your 9 months of statutory maternity pay means the 3 months are a struggle financially, can you do some KIT days? Can you use the annual leave also?

Agree with others, stay on mat leave as long as you can. If you need more time after that, extend it as long as you can or go off sick then. Congratulations and good luck x

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

(hugs)

Thank you everyone for the support and the kind responses, I appreciate some of you sharing personal stories. @UpInTheTrees I am really sorry this happened to you. I can only imagine how difficult it was.

I know I am a valuable member of the team, I hold a senior position and returning with a promotion after maternity, therefore a dismissal would be an extreme outcome. I would be very surprised (and disappointed) if they went down that route.

I have explained these thoughts to my manager who's very supportive of whatever I decide to do and empathetic. I'm confident he'll have my back. I'm not sure about HR. They may be understanding the 1st month, but what if sickness absence extends to 2nd or 3rd month? To be fair, it was HR that laid out all my leave options when I gave birth, among those the sickness leave in case I was unable to work after maternity. I felt that they were hinting towards sickness as a legitimate option (since I couldn't take sickness leave when my baby and I were actually hospitalised, because maternity kicked off).

Wouldn't they understand? Is it so risky being away for 2-3 months due to mental health?

(I will be taking my remaining AL in November and December.)

Zero empathy by your employer. Was this in the UK or US? How long after you went on leave did they threaten? Did you have a doctor's note confirming you're not fit for work?

I see your point that the employer would argue I could continue being on mat leave to heal, but the thing is even before having a preterm birth, I wasn't planning on taking more than 9 months, which are paid. Being on mat leave for longer and unpaid would be unsustainable.

I am already experiencing mental health - related problems. They won't begin on the day I am due to be back at work. I was even planning on giving a heads up already now about my current situation and that sick absence is likely to happen.

Does this not make sense? Will the employer not understand that?

Im very sorry for your experience, @MumOfEmi and for your loss, @UpInTheTrees

It will not help you at the moment, but for anyone who comes across this thread, the law is going to change next year so that anyone with a baby in neonatal care can receive additional pay for each week the baby is in neonatal care for up to 12 weeks to recognise that it should be treated differently to maternity leave. Despite the law being passed last year, it isnt going to be implemented until April 25. I also had a baby who spent time in neonatal care (full term but very sick) and although we will never get that missed time back (especially DH, who had to go back to work before DD1 was discharged), I'm so pleased that others wont have the same experience as us.

https://www.bliss.org.uk/research-campaigns/influencing-policy-and-working-in-parliament/neonatal-leave-and-pay-campaign

Only you know what type of organisation you work for, but the info from Bliss suggests that some organisations have committed to honour the neonatal leave benefits before it is officially law. Ive no idea if thats a feasible alternative option to explore for your org?

Thank you so much! I am indeed aware of the new law and happy this time will be finally recognised for what it is: an extremely traumatic period for parents, with often long-term mental health impact, nowhere near what parental leave should look like.

Unfortunately I can't benefit from this law yet. However, I have made my employer aware and shared the letter from Bliss with them. I was hoping on an early implementation, however processes are very slow where I work and I highly doubt they will do anything on time.

It was the U.K. and I was signed off from day one by my GP (and I was still under the perinatal MH team psychiatrist).

They wanted me to be able to reassure them that the treatments and medication I was having was going to effectively enable me to get over it and be back at work within six months. For obvious reasons, I couldn’t get over it and was a grieving and depressed mess. I’m still very bitter about it.

Thank you for sharing. How could you reassure them? Did they request evidence you're under treatment, it's duration etc? If so, did they request right from the beginning of your absence or much later?
I'm really sorry for your experience and everything that happened.