Is this superstition/anxiety or OCD?

[avatin]

Obviously I know you can disagrees me, but I'd love some opinions.

I have depression and anxiety, I've been medicated for over five years. My anxiety fluctuates, I wouldn't describe it as severe. More mild to moderate.

I am/was superstitious. I think I got it from my mum, e.g. saluting magpies, not walking over three drains.

However for the past year or two, it has progressed. For example, when I'm driving my brain will tell me I have to drive a certain route home (even if it's longer/non sensical) or something bad will happen. Or I have to make my bed a certain way, or salute a magpie multiple times, or leave a door open or closed.

It isn't always the same thing, and it isn't everyday, but it's often.

I don't have rituals.

I go through days where I feel relatively okay, then the next day (or even next minute) I feel suicidal and hopeless, like the world is ending.

Does anyone have any thoughts of this please?

I think I got it from my mum

I got from my mum that my feet were the wrong shape for flip-flops. It took 50 years for me to even think about questioning whether that was true or not (it wasn't).

What we learn in the formative years becomes so deeply embedded in our subconscious - our core beliefs - that we accept it as truth. Sometimes it's harmless but other times it can limit or control our lives, as is happening with you. Logically you know this is ridiculous but your younger/deeper mind can't accept that logic and so overrides it.

You can re-write these 'rules'. Have a look at this article as a starting point;

https://www.betterup.com/blog/core-beliefs