Everything’s getting much now

[MumEll]

I am so tired I really just need to rant.
The past 3 days I’ve sat on my sofa and hyperventilated in tears. I’m so overwhelmed.
I have limited my baby to 30 minutes of screen time a day, as I find some of it educational, but don’t want him to rely on it. Boy have I relied on it. We’re looking at 2 hours a day now. I feel awful but I can’t handle these last three days. He’s teething and going through sleep regression. He’s angry, whining, kicking, slapping, pushing. All of this during feeds, nappy change, play. Nothing keeps him calm for longer than 5 minutes. And I’m just tired. I’m burnt out. For the last 6 months I’ve hand him with not a single helping hand apart from his dad on weekends, but it’s still a case of me juggling the baby and the house as his dad puts the mental burns em on me. He takes the baby off me so I can have a break, but I’ll still be finding the nappies for him, getting a bib for him, making the bottles etc. this is all whilst providing him with breakfast, lunch and dinner and trying to sort this house out whilst he keeps ruining it. the love in our relationship is pretty dead. My cats are ruining my house, breaking everything, my carpets disgusting - but my partner won’t let me allow them to be outdoor cats just incase something bad happens. But they need to go out; their bored. and honestly it’s all building up now. My cup is completely empty, and now my babies going through this phase, I’m crumbling. I know he’s in pain, I feel so bad for him but I’m so tired and burnt out and feeling unloved/worthless I Haven’t got the same patience. I’m even having dreams of everyone in my life using me for what they need and then I’m back in my house, alone and dark.
I realised the other day that, I’m so lonely if I didn’t live with my partner, and I died, nobody would know. Everyone only uses me for a service now and mentally I’m all done out.
im remaining Strong for my baby, I’m still working on me and putting all the energy I have into him but now I’ve got major mom guilt for using the tV more than normal. I feel like I can’t do any good right now but I need to be heard. Actually heard. Not listened to, given an empty apology and then back to normal. I want to know how I’m feeling is normal and okay, I want to know that it’s not “just my hormones”. I want to know that anyone else going through this would be overwhelmed. But instead I feel like I’m overreacting, over sensitive and just playing victim.

Oh my love
You should go and see your gp
Having a baby IS desperately lonely , esp if your do is out of house all day but hardly anyone talks about it
But your dp also needs to step up more when he is around

If you need to
Put the telly on to
Keep the baby amused it's okay.

Sending you love and a big hug

Also to add. It does get better.

Yes, see your GP to get some help. This stage of baby care is exhausting, relentless but can feel boring too. You must do whatever helps you. When your partner is there at weekends, say you won’t be available to help him. Rest in your room, take a bath or go out for a time. And get your partner to organise some of the meals. After all, you do it by yourself during the week so he can too.

If your son is teething, see if calpol or ibuprofen help him. A grumpy baby because he’s in pain isn’t good for you or him. And use tv for the next few months to help you get by.

As you’re the main caregiver for your cats, you make the decisions about them. If your DP wants them to stay in, he can look after them in his flat. If he can’t do that, then he has to accept your decision.

In short, you’re going through a crisis and must do whatever it takes to get by. You don’t have to be a perfect parent during this time, just good enough. The most important thing is to look after yourself so that you can get through this crisis. Sending you lots of hope and good wishes.