Can you help me with a daily checklist?

[Donutsfirst]

Struggling with depression and anxiety. I’ve started meds but aware they’ll take
a while to work / stabilise.
at the moment I drag myself up to get kids ready for school but mostly can’t bring myself to even brush my hair let alone shower and make up for school run like others seem to do. Every day I plan to come
back and shower / tidy / exercise but I don’t. I work from home
and definitely could do these things between calls but I don’t, it feels too hard work and I end up under a blanket until its
time to go back to school and another day is gone. I know I look a mess and badly need some self care but where do I start? It feels pointless putting on nice clothes and doing my hair when I feel so low and all I do is take the kids to and from school and answer work calls. I see all these glam mums at school looking like they’ve spent 2 hours getting ready and I normally
have my pajamas on under my jogging bottoms. I used to take good care of myself but since the depression and anxiety started I simply…dont. And don’t know where to start. I’m a single mum and life Is hectic from school run until they go to sleep and it’s like need the school hours to rest but I don’t think it’s helping and I realised today I actually smell and that was mortifying ☹️

Start really small and do it for you, not others, not appearances. If you're putting jogging bottoms on, take an extra few seconds to take your pj bottoms off. If you like jewellery, another few seconds to add a necklace or earrings.
And are you getting help from your GP?

Thank you for
replying💞gp not
much help, has started me on meds and I’m on a long waiting list for CBT.

Hey @Donutsfirst I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I have been there, and waiting for the medication to start working can be torture. But if you've been put on the right medication it will get better.

Here are some things I did to help me through depression and anxiety, maybe some of these ideas might help.

Firstly, I always made sure I put music on in the morning, and never anything emotional. Upbeat pop, your favourite artist, dance music etc... music would always lift my spirits a little. Or a comedy podcast- don't underestimate the sound of other people talking and laughing if you're feeling lonely or down.
Even if you can't do everything re hygiene - pick at least one thing to do, like brush teeth or get in the shower. It's better than not doing anything and is less pressure on you than feeing like you have to do all the things. One step at a time.
A good friend brought me a self care journal. Had I not been in the middle of a mental health crisis id never have taken this seriously - but there is something in writing things down like what you are grateful for, what small goals can you work towards today, remember a time when you were full of joy etc.... I found writing once a day to be really helpful in remembering that I didn't always feel that way and things would get better like they had been better in the past.
And rest. It's exhausting treating a mental illness, don't feel bad for spending all day in bed if you need to. Save your energy for when you feel better, or for when you know you can't crawl into bed.

You poor dear thing, I'm sorry you're so low. It's a horrible, horrible place to be. Have you come across KC Davis? Her website, Struggle Care is full of depression friendly tips to make life more manageable when you can't do much at all. I really hope things start to feel better for you soon. X
https://www.strugglecare.com/

If you can't do everything in one day, do one thing per day.

So Monday, wash hair, wrap it in a towel for 5min while you clean teeth, use leave in conditioner, comb it and if it's long plait it so it stays tidy for longer.

Tuesday, take a shower or bath. If it's a bath use bubble bath because soaking in it will get you cleaner than using nothing. Whether it's bath or shower aim to wash your face, feet, underarms and genitals. Use antiperspirant deodorant, face moisturizer with SPF in it, lip balm to stop them cracking, baby powder on your feet will keep them fresher longer. Don't bother with body cream unless you want to or you have a medical need for it.

Wednesday, so laundry. Get it dry somehow doesn't matter how. Tumble dryer, line outside, airer inside, flung on radiator or curtain rail. Air your rooms to get rid of the damp air.

Thursday, change bedding and towels, get them washed and dried.

Friday, a bit of everything. Teeth cleaned, floss and mouthwash. Wash face, underarms, genitals and feet. Change clothes.

Saturday, eat at least one healthy meal with vegetables and get outside into some daylight, even if it's just sitting on the doorstep with a cuppa.

Sunday, run the hoover round including the hard floors. Clean your toilet, bath and sinks. Wipe your door handles and bannister.

If you can manage all this you'll have covered the basics and prevent anything important deteriorating too much for too long. You'll have to push yourself to do it which will take practice to achieve. Every day is a fresh start so don't worry about anything you didn't manage yesterday, that's in the past and beating yourself up about it won't help. You will learn to live with your depression and become better at doing that. You'll find you get more functional with practice, until you're managing the daily basics daily and the weekly ones weekly. Hopefully at some stage you'll recover from it completely.

@Donutsfirst I’ve been where you are and I know how hard it is just to get out of bed in the morning let alone take a shower, get dressed etc. so be kind to yourself, once the meds kick in hopefully you will feel more inclined to look after yourself a bit better but for now it’s just baby steps. Give yourself one task to do a day, just one so it’s not overwhelming and will be easier to achieve! Even if it’s just taking a shower or washing your hair. And don’t worry about what others are wearing on the school run, do what’s right for you and a whatever it takes to get you through the day! Do you have any support? Family, friends? x

And I echo what others have said, if u need to sleep/rest then do it! Anxiety and depression are exhausting and you shouldn’t feel guilty if u need to spend a little extra time in bed. You are doing amazing to get up and get the kids off to school, at my worst I couldn’t even manage that! x