Our of control anxiety and I'm really suffering

[SAHMummy24]

I've really been struggling lately. I've had anxiety mainly around my health for many years. It got progressive worse since I had my son who is now 2. I spend all day obsessing and thinking about getting sick and dying or dying suddenly. I can't bare to be alone at home on my own with my son for any length of time because I'm so scared something will happen to me and no one can save me. I spend hours checking my body for signs of illness. Spend hours googling and researching diseases. If I hear something bad in the news or on sm I immediately start panicking that it could happen to me. I'm scared to drive in case of an accident. I'm constantly checking my heart rate and blood pressure, constantly making out I'm breathing.. every day I think I'm about to have a heart attack or a.blood clot and lately I'm worried of sudden death, being attacked in the street, freak accidents such as gas leaks or robberies. I constantly check all switches in the house because I'm scared of fires and such. Every night I hug my son tight because I'm so scared I won't see him again. I don't go anywhere without him because I'm scared I won't come back to him. It's taken over my life. I'm so terrified all the time. I've had meds and countless therapy but nothing works. I've even started to be scared of even more illogical things, for example, my skin starts to itch and I convinced myself that I had touched poison and someone was trying to poison me. I'm scared to eat new foods or even foods I've had a million times before in case I have an allergic reaction. I'm scared to take medications in case they harm me. So I'm unmedicated at the moment because I'm too scared to take them. I feel like I'm going mad. Sometimes I done feel right in the head and my head just feels fuzzy and nothing makes sense. All of this overstimulates me and sometimes I get so angry and full of rage and now I'm worrying that what if I lose my temper and hurt someone. I don't know what to do anymore. It's out of control. Sorry this is so long. I just needed to get it out. What can I do now.

Speak to your GP OP, immediately, and seek therapy.

You need professional help, first step is to talk to your GP as pp have said. Telling yourself your thoughts are irrational obviously isn't working but for the sake of your little boy, you need to recover from this.

I have spoken to my GP, he finally referred me to CMHT and I'm have an app in a couple weeks for step 4 intervention which I believe is the next step up of the self refer talking therapies as Iva had these and they haven't helped.

I think it’s more reasonable to try you on anti-anxiety medication at this point. I can be life changing.

Yes I know I need some medication. I've had anti depressants and took the for awhile in the past but then suddenly this fear of the medication came and I've not been able to take them. I'm extremely deficient in iron and vitamin d and I cant even bring myself to take the supplements as it's a real phobia I've developed and I just cannot take them.

I understand that. I don’t know if you are open to and able to afford, but some solutions-focused clinical hypnotherapy can really help change this…

I really feel for you esp as I’m a bit the same. I did a lot of work on visualisation, trusting my body to expel what it doesn’t need of the meds etc

Also if you look up something called compassionate self enquiry. It’s helpful. About leaning in and listening to your body’s anxiety as a message it’s sending you, with compassion and without trying to escape it. Might sound woo but promise it’s helped loads of people

Thank you.

I think listening to my body and wondering what it's trying to tell me id what I do anyway. And obviously draw the wrong conclusions that something is very wrong and sends me into a spiral.

There will be something else happening in your life that your body is telling you no… it’s hard to get that head space and that’s where hypno can help

I've had anxiety mainly around my health for many years.

Can you remember when, and more importantly, why this started? The root cause is the best place to start working towards the solution (and there is a solution).

I can't pin point it, it was more of a gradual thing until it became overbearing.

So you can't think of any trigger? A grandparent being ill or dying suddenly? The mind (generally) doesn't go from carefree to seriously panicky without some reason for it to develop that fear - even if it's something that seems random. Was/is anyone in your family a 'worrier'?