Hi there Mumsnetters,
Loooong time lurker and first time poster. Please be kind. This would be an exceptionally long post if I wrote everything that had been going on but I'm going to do my best to keep it short and sweet.
Basically I have been struggling with motherhood for about the past year, I have an 9 year old and a 4 year old and my partner works shifts (emergency services) and life is horrendously stressful. For a long time it was difficult (solo parenting the majority of the time because of partners shifts and zero support from family who are minimally involved in my childrens lives) but I somehow got on with it, but the past year has honestly almost tipped me over the edge.
I have had several close family members become very unwell, one pass away and one who is very unwell indeed. I am trying to support everyone emotionally and physically while receiving nothing in return, I have a chronic injury which means absolutely everything is a struggle. I can't cook, clean, do any form of housework without being in severe pain. The children are especially untidy and I am constantly chasing my tail trying to tidy up after them, all the while worsening my injury. I am being told to rest so my injury can heal, but it's impossible when the house is such a state and looking after the children. Husband does what he can but is exhausted from work and his shifts are VERY long. Meaning a very small portion of what needs doing actually gets done.
The house is a constant state, the children's needs are endless, I'm pouring from an empty cup trying to support family but no one is reaching out to help me at all. I feel like I'm drowning and like there is no end to any of this. I don't want to be miserable, I just want to thrive and be happy but life is so damn difficult right now. Thank goodness for the few good friends I have be cause they have helped as much as they can, but they are busy with families so that too is minimal. My own family are too caught up in their own lives to offer any help to me (but still have high expectations for me to support them with whatever they feel is necessary), I would sell a kidney to have my mum come over and help fold the laundry or make dinner for the kids so I don't have to hurt myself to do it. DP parents are toxic and we don't have much to do with them so can't ask them for help.
I don't even know why I'm writing this. I guess out of desperation to be heard and felt seen because I don't really have anyone else to talk to, and today has been a hard one.
Anyway, thanks for reading this if you got this far