Drama started when I got pregnant. I had pre natal depression and had a hard time coming to terms I was going to have a baby, the baby was wanted but I needed time to work that out with my partner in my own time and I let everyone know that.
Because of that I had a breakdown when my mil bought cakes and a gift basket for me 2 weeks after I found out I was pregnant, but my partner explained my situation to them and they understood.
After that I told my partner I wanted to keep the ultrasound between us until I felt ready to share as I found to get my head around straight away. Partner explained to pil who said they had be waiting all day for the photo and were upset that I wouldn't give it to them, they said I was cutting them out even though I explained my reasoning.
After this I told everyone in the family not to buy any clothes, mil rings dp and cried down the phone to be later rung back with fil calling me manipulative for making my partner do things my way ( my partner didn't mind and understood my situation).
Consistently everytime I saw her she mentioned the pregnancy, asking me questions and getting drunk and making comments after we both have said copious amounts of times I don't want to discuss it. Partner messaged her loads and said it in person but she still didn't stop. She said my baby was craving kfc when I was eating a kfc, I told her right there and then I'd rather not discuss it to which she cried and told dp I was being rude.
I told everyone the same thing, no favouritism and everyone except them was accepting. I said once he's born I'm not stopping anyone seeing him and I want it to be happy families but atm I want privacy and for my boundaries to be accepted.
After baby born it was all fine and I had to accept I wasn't going to get an apology from them and that I should just move on for my partners sake. We'll they've been spam calling me every time baby goes to gp for reflux because she wants information and is worrying for his health and said he might have a genetic disorder based on him crying all the time, i told her this wasnt good for mt anxiety and i wasnt happy and she kept on about not caring it caused me stress as a ftm. I'm angry and they don't get why so I told her where to go and to f off. I've had enough they're never wrong and never accept any criticism or boundaries. I've gone no contact now, allowing them to see baby with me present but we won't be talking to each other. Fil doesn't want to talk to me again either apparently.
Basically aibu to just not talk or involve myself with them again.