Worth going ahead with private ADHD/ASD appointment with these symptoms?

[Closertodog]

I wrote a list of things to tell my GP at an appointment last week but they were dismissive and said they didn't have time to discuss so I called a local clinic who can fit me in next month. They've said it's a fixed cost of about a grand to diagnose ADHD but should I do it? What if it's something else or nothing? Doesn't sound like they'll take a holistic view - more of a diagnose ADHD or nothing? Maybe autism? It's another grand to refer me to a colleague for that. And even if they say it is one or other, what then?

This is what I wrote down. I seem to be struggling with more of these 'symptons'(??) since I quit alcohol a year ago. (I was drinking an awful lot). I'm 41. Could it be peri? Grateful for any ideas! Thanks.

Given up alcohol got worse - more thoughts, more blurting, less attention.
Masking, feeling like I'm acting.
Social battery dying more quickly.
Very literal. If you ask me how I feel I can't actually say - therapy has always been tricky here.
But conversely struggle with feelings - can not regulate emotions or get a grip. Bursting into tears.
Procrastination paralysis.
No patience - in meetings etc.
Never being done, never stopping. Can't relax. Will not sit down before 7pm if I have a day off, unless I'm in the middle of a task, suddenly can't concentrate then scroll on my phone for an hour.
Can't concentrate on anything if I have to do something later...
Can't listen - I'm already at the end of the sentence you're saying.
Having 87 conversations in my head - voices talking over one another.
Relationship struggles - romantic partnerships. Friendships ok.
Rejection sensitivity , catastrophising...
Overthinking...
Unsettled...
Psychic - perceiving smallest shifts in tone -hypervigilent (probably a childhood hangover. Emotionally immature parents) but I'm never wrong about it...
Non stop internal dialogue.
Verbally incontinent.
How I appear on the outside v different to how I feel inside - feedback from friends 'you always look like you're dealing with things brilliantly'. When I feel the opposite.
Systems and organisation - I've tried everything and it does work largely - militant about using calendar, putting keys etc in same place etc.
I struggle without a plan, even if for example on holiday 'there is no new plan/we're doing nothing until 5pm' or whatever. Need to know what I'm doing.
Struggle juggling tasks at work.
Can not listen - for eg conference I attended last week. I am listening so hard but not hearing anything.
Burst of energy before bed. Something various bed partners have commented on! (Not sexual - feel productive and chatty)
Countering and oppositional - can't help myself answering back/giving another view.

I'm exhausted with myself.

Depends on what you want out of a diagnosis (ADHD)
if your thinking about medication it’s not just the assessment costs. There’s monthly prescription costs and 6mthly review fee. Around £2k a year.
shared care isn’t something gp will usually take on after a private diagnosis, even if it’s right to choose.

I can’t say much about the private diagnosis as I was diagnosed on NHS but do want to say you sound just like me- I tick every box on your list except I have never drunk alcohol because I don’t like feeling not like me. I was diagnosed with autism aged 24 and in my 30s am realising I probably have ADHD too.

I believe National Autistic Society keeps a list of reputable diagnostic services in the private sector.

I feel strongly that anyone who has a sense of feeling they are neuro divergent is highly likely going to be. I don't mean this we're all a bit Autistic rubbish either, which is not true.
I think just knowing for sure who you are is really important for your well being. I'd go for a private autism assessment as the priority if you had to choose. Ideally one that does both.
We had to pay privately for my son to be assessed. It was absolutely the best thing ever. Just knowing is so important to ones mental well being. You also reduce the chances of getting stupid diagnosees that you don't have. I'm sure many Autistic women are told borderline personality disorder or something else that makes no medical sense.
Good luck