Feeling down

[Laurie01]

Really want to feel positive and happy and joyful and see the good in everything but I have a mother who is so negative, she brings me down, feeling flat today. Nothing is good enough, nothing is right.
That's it really 🙁

Your mother is not you. She is responsible for her feelings, you are for yours. Do you live with her?

No and she lives a fair way away, just when I speak to her I feel down for days

Thst sounds really rubbish and I can relate a little. My lnow someone who likes to offload all their worries and negativity onto me so then I feel it and then they feel better. I learnt to stop taking it all on as if it's my problem. I say things like 'oh right' or 'sorry you feel that way' and then just move on with my day viewing their negativity as their flaw rather than something I need to internalise.

Is she critical of you op? Or is it just that she's depressed herself? Or maybe controlling? If you can give some examples of the things she says and does to make you feel bad we might be a able to help.

I feel for you. My dear mother had the misfortune of having a mother like yours. My mother was forever trying to prove herself. Ended up with an alcohol dependency towards the end of her life. Have you tried counselling?

I am finding this more and more with my mum op. She has been under the weather lately so l get she feels crap but jeez it is so depressing sometimes.

How often do you talk to her and for how long?
Cut it right down. See it as a weekly (eg) job that needs ticking off the list.
Whatever she says or moans about that’s her saying it. Don’t let it alter how you feel.
Shes negative, you know she’s negative. Same old, same old. Try to let it just wash over you. Choose to not let it bother you.