A thankless life is getting to me

[YikesImSad]

I’m feeling quite upset this evening, May was a really bad month for my MH and I just keep coming to the realisation that I’m stuck in this thankless cycle that is motherhood.
I think I just need an anonymous rant,
please be kind if you’re inclined to comment, I’m not really looking for answers really I feel like I’ve tried everything already, my husband and I are very close and talk very openly about this, he is a hands on dad and helps more than most I feel.
But it’s just constant. The list of things mothers have to do is ridiculous, I know I have to be kinder to myself, Rome wasn’t built in a day or whatever, but I just feel completely suffocated by this role.
The meal planning, budgeting, cooking, tending to two small children (keeping them clean, clothed, fed, why do they eat so much and why is every request so difficult?!), school admin, birthdays, organising and attending social events, cleaning up all. the. time, discipline, to name a small few…
It’s hard to see the good parts because I’m constantly doing everything for everyone all of the time. I just thought this is what I wanted and it’s so much harder than I imagined.
I’m (quite selfishly) pining for when my littlest goes to school and I might get some of my life back, whatever that even looks like, I don’t know who I am!

Yep it's constant and it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel...but it DOES get easier. Be kind to yourself. Is there any way you can book a weekend away at a hotel or similar just by yourself? That's what I do when I'm overstimulated and tired.

This is a great point and oh how I wish I could… I’ve spent the last hour looking for options, but my husband works all week and most weekends
We’re also a single income house so there’s not a lot of money left for me haha ☹️

I totally understand how difficult it must be. It took me 14 years to get to the stage of being able to get a weekend away.
Your health needs to be a priority.
Maybe schedule something for when your husband is not working on a particular weekend.
As far as finances are concerned, have a look to see if you can forgo something in order to accommodate your mental health.
Going away won't solve everything and you won't return as Mary Poppins but it will give your tired mind and body a chance to just be. It will be like a balm for an exhausted nervous system. In turn, you may see your situation from a different point of view.
This will be good for you and for those around you.