Weird intrusive thoughts

[watermelonsugar56]

Hello, I’m not sure if what I’m experiencing actually qualifies as “intrusive thoughts” but I wonder if anyone could shed some light.

For context I have a 2 year old DS and I work part time. For the past 6 months or so, with the limited free time I do have, I’ve been ruminating over basically my whole life. I’ve been stuck on upsetting events that happened to me in my 20s, I’ve started to have borderline obsessive thoughts over running into people that I might have embarrassed myself before as a younger woman, worried my DS might not make friends because I’m not the same as other mums/too shy, worry about things childhood me said to other kids in case I said anything offensive..the list goes on and I just can’t seem to shut my brain up and give myself a break. Back when DS was younger I was so tired I couldn’t think, now in the evenings once he is asleep I can’t stop ruminating. I do suffer from low self esteem and am a shy, introverted, sensitive person. Although outwardly I have friends, go to groups etc and get on well so people probably wouldn’t know this. Has anyone experienced anything similar? TIA xx

Just want to add that I have a supportive husband, family etc. It’s been hard to explain how I’m feeling to them.

I have intrusive thoughts but the are linked to OCD are you having any other symptoms?

I find this helpful

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1vx8iUvfyCY

You sound like me, I have OCD too. It took me a LONG time to figure out what was wrong with me. Big changes like having a baby can trigger/exacerbate it. It might be worth looking into the symptoms and seeing if any resonate with you. It's a really hard place to be mentally, so try to be kind to yourself as much as you can and get some support if you feel like you need it

Thank you both so much for your kind replies 💐 I never considered OCD but will explore that. And definitely will give the guided meditation a try. Thank you 😊❤️

It might be worth keeping a diary. I find my intrusive thoughts and my other OCD symptoms get worse at times if stress like weddings, deaths, holidays, new baby. Also sleep deprivation makes them worse. It might be worth tracking what's happing at the time, how you feel (happy,sad, stress ect) and anxiety level. It's also good to get things out instead of keeping them in your brain.

Thank you @ChangeAgain2 appreciate that ❤️🙌

I don't have advice but feel like I could have written your OP myself. I am seeing my GP about it on Tuesday actually as it has started to make me feel depressed. I have also started ruminating about things relating to my 2 yo child now which I worry she will be able to pick up on as she gets older. I hope you find something that helps you and brings some relief.

All the best to you @msbrightside2nice to know I am not alone, hoping for a positive outcome for you 💐❤️

I have this too. My insight FWIW is that I think I developed it as a way of controlling big emotions when I was a teenager. The main one being, I can't possibly fail, failing is not an option (I'd restarted my A Levels), so my brain had to make sure I had thought of EVERYTHING.

I think there's a small amount of normality to it , there is a neural pathway which is kind of like 'check and review', so if we notice something different going on in our surroundings , then this gets activated. And we think about everything. I would love to be able to 'catch it', I think it's kind of a case of just slowing down for a bit so we can readjust.

Thank you @summerhazedriftingby that’s a really interesting way to look at it. My parents were in a car crash when I was little (both fine thankfully) and now you’ve mentioned the link I believe that’s when it began for me. Reassuring to know others have experienced the same thing. Xx