Frightened of the future

[JamSandle]

Recently I've been feeling frightened of my future. I've started having panic attacks. Something I've not had for a really long time.

I'm mid 30s and have recently gone through a breakup.

I live at home with family which allows me to save a lot and overall I'm happy here. But when I think of the future I see...

• My father dying
• Life getting more expensive
• Not having a partner and being alone

I find this all very frightening. Sometimes I think that I want to check out if my dad goes because I'm just so frightened.

To balance things out I have a job, some savings, a pet. I've travelled the world.

I just feel in relationships its always gone wrong. My family is small and I'm painfully conscious of ending up alone.

Can someone give me any kind or compassionate words? I feel so scared.

I'm mid 30s and have recently gone through a breakup.

It's natural that your breakup has caused you to consider the future in negative terms because what you expected to happen - it continuing - hasn't happened. But that's also coloured your view of the overall future.

But when I think of the future I see...

Gently, you don't 'see', you project. You have no idea what tomorrow will bring. Maybe you will have bought a winning lottery ticket, maybe you will have to deal with something far bigger than you could imagine.

I saw a 'hack' (weird use of a word - a hack is a horse ride in the countryside!) last week that might help you. When you feel a panic attack coming on, grab a small item - a bottle of water for example - and pass it from your left hand to right hand in quick succession, watching it move. It stimulates the two hemispheres of your brain to coordinate with each other and allows the rational side to calm the creative side.

Sorry you are feeling this way. I am too. I am late 30s, an only child, no children. Once my parents go, it is me against the world and I am terrified. The only positive point is that I recently made a friend who is in exactly the same position. Wishing you all the best.