Chance I could be pregnant but think my brain is messing with me

[Yellowrayofsunshine]

Hi, I have changed my username for fear of being recognised , it’s slightly sarcastic as I feel very down about things . I’ll try and keep this short but wondering if anyone else was in this situation.

Theres a chance I’m pregnant. I’m nearly 40 and already have a 10 year old DS. My husband has been reluctant to have another over the years as I went through a lot in childbirth. Having another is something I’ve never been able to shake, but he’s always been adamant that he doesn’t want to.

I gave up my birth control in February as I was getting fed up with the side effects and wanted to reclaim my body (and mental health) back. It’s like a fog has been lifted, and as a result we’ve been intimate more frequently.

ive had a few symptoms now where I might be pregnant but I have to wait another week to test as it’s too early. I’ve been quite glum over the past 2 days and finally admitted it last night as he noticed I wasn’t my normal self. He’s understandably upset but hasn’t said so out loud, I do completely understand why. But if I am I fear this will end our relationship , we’ve had our ups and downs over the years but lately we’ve been in a good place until now.

Mentally my head is all over the place. I wonder if I’ve convinced myself I’m pregnant when I’m not. It took us over a year to get DS , nothing was wrong physically but my body did not want to get pregnant until I’d convinced myself I never could have children and started going out a lot. I’ve always had massive anxiety about stuff - even paying for things in shops and being on the phone - since I was a child.

Im worried over the next week mentally I will go downhill, at the moment it seems like nothing can distract me and it’s more likely than not than I’m not. But I don’t think DH and I will ever be the same again regardless of the outcome. If I’m not (which is most likely) I’m never going to feel happy as he definately doesn’t want another but I do. Deep down I hope I am pregnant but it’s going to cause so many issues for us. I just feel I’m heading into despair and constantly overthinking.

The physical symptoms are so overwhelming, if I’m not I seriously worry about my mental health.

Thanks for reading, if you’ve got this far.

That all sounds very miserable. It woukd be unusual to have overwhelming pregnancy related physical symptoms while you are so early in pregnancy that you are still a week off being able to take a test.
If you are sure it feels like pregnancy then maybe take a test now as your dates could be wrong.

I’m only 6 days in, and I’ve read that no test will work before 10 , which is why I think I’m not and it’s my brain messing with me. 😣

Hello OP, so a practical question; are you saying you've been having sex without any contraception since February? Or have you replaced whatever contraception you were on that was harming you, with another form that doesn't affect your health directly for instance condoms?
I'm so sorry you are feeling so distressed.

We started off using condoms but didn’t this month. I see where you’re going, and that I need to sort out some other method so I don’t go through this again.

Well where I was going was more that yes, of course you could be pregnant. Did you think it wasn't possible for some reason?

Obviously I'm not saying you are, only a test - at the time a test can give a valid result- can say that. But sex without contraception can lead to pregnancy.

So sorry you are having a hard time @Yellowrayofsunshine I think there’s a few separate issues here.

have u ever seen a gp about your mental health, the anxiety etc? Regardless of whether u are pregnant or not it sounds like you could benefit from talking to someone about how you are feeling.

did your husband know u came off your contraception? U said u were using condoms but didn’t last month… then your husband must know there’s a possibility you could get pregnant?! If he’s that adamant he doesn’t want another child he should have insisted you used protection!

hopefully u can test soon so u know for sure but then I guess you just need to sit down with your husband and decide where to go from here. Whether you’re pregnant or not I think you just need to be completely honest about how u feel. How is your relationship in general with your husband? X

No, not seen a GP, to be honest they’ve always dismissed me when I’ve mentioned mental health issues, I had one rolling her eyes at me when I said I had post natal depression after I had my DS, I ended up being quite bad to the point I didn’t want to be around anymore, but another doctor gave me anti depressants which helped.

Yes husband was aware but a bit naive about it all I think, he’s not one for thinking about things too much and just lets stuff happen.

All day today he’s been acting like I never told him and so is burying his head in the sand, defense mechanism I suppose, I’ve cracked and tested this afternoon but I’m only 7dpo so way too early, will try again next week.

Thanks to you all for being supportive I don’t feel like I deserve it, so thanks. I don’t think I am, I think my mind has gone overboard, I need to find a distraction other than babies I think.