I’ve been through lots of significant life events, family illness, relationship breakdown, bad health diagnosis etc but I’ve managed to keep going, keep working etc. I changed jobs last year and moved into an unfamiliar environment where I still feel
uncomfortable and just not myself. What’s making it worse is I’ve developed a horrible crush on somebody I barely know who sits near me. It’s all totally ridiculous and making me feel awful. I’m so paranoid he’ll know or somebody will notice I feel awkward all the time and I’m just ignoring him. My marriage isn’t great, my partner isn’t very supportive and I know it’s just about unmet needs rather than the guy himself who although I am
attracted to, I know nothing about. Initially I thought there was a bit of a spark but now I don’t and I’d never do anything anyway as although my marriage is difficult, I am the product of a home devastated by a cheating parent and I’d never do it to my husband or my own kids, even if the opportunity did arise which it hasn’t. I feel out of control and weird, is this poor mental health? Or have I just gaslit myself into thinking it is and actually it’s just a manifestation of unmet needs in my relationship? I’m trying to leave the job as it’s not what I’d hoped for so that might help but I worry I’ll just feel the same elsewhere. Anyone else felt like this?