Aibu to go back on antidepressants

[TaraRhu]

Hi everyone

All of my life have suffered from periods of depression. I go on and off antidepressants.

The last major depression I had was over covid. I took antidepressants and had cbt. I continued with the meds until about a year ago. I was fine. But lately I've basically burnt out. I'm exhausted as I've two kids a partner who works away a lot. I'm not happy at work as i took a demotion to give me less stress. But i actually find it worse as i have no satisfaction. I've got no time to myself and can't afford the childcare we need to kick start my career. I've little time for anything tbh. Our family are 600 miles away.

I've started to spiral mentally. I'm having crying periods and am constantly irritated by everything. I'm tired all the time. I know I need to do something about it. There is no easy fix to the stress I'm under.
I'm hoping once my daughter is out of nursery we'll have more money. Then I can hopefully pick up my career. But for now there not a lot if life changes I can make to help.

I really hate feeling like this.. All I hear these days is how anti depressants are a big placebo that should be limited etc.. I had a lot of cbt before but I really find it hard to use those techniques without a therapist to bounce it off.

In an ideal world if get a therapist next week that could talk it out with. But I can't afford one. I can't wait on the nhs. I need help now.

How do I shake this doubt?

I went off them and am now back on them due to exhaustion, they’ve transformed me. I won’t be going off them ever again. Def not a placebo!

I have been on Sertraline for 9 years, and Fluoxetine for 2 years before that.

I tried coming off the Sertraline at one point and realised that I will need to be on this medication for the rest of my life. It might not work for some people, but it definitely does for me.

If you feel like anti-depressants worked for you before, I would have no qualms about going back on them again.

I've been on a variety over the last 6 years. I will be on them for life.

If they helped you before they probably will help again. Have you had blood tests done recently? You could be low on iron , b12, magnesium, vitamin D etc.? What about hormone treatment for pre--menopause? Sleep also a huge factor for health.
Talk to your GP about all of these before starting up antidepressants again if you have reservations .
HTH

It's rubbish I know
This might sound silly but also try and make sure you get lots of protein down you, I don't fully understand how protein supports cortisol (the stress hormone) but it definitely does, for me at any rate.

I gave up the Diet Coke and drank lots of milk instead. I think YANBU to start antidepressants again, you need to do whatever it takes for however long it takes to get you through this xxx

OP there's no shame in needing ADs.
I've been on them for many years.
I've tried lowering the dose, and stopping them.
I've always ended up needing them again.
My GP and psychiatrist agree that it's much better for me to be on them, so I have been taking 45mg mirtazapine for ten years now.

If you need them, take them.

You have an illness and you know from
past experience that a certain medication helps with. Of course you should take it.

Thanks everyone. I know I should but I think tv illness is messing with me. I think I'm actually just really unhappy, married the wrong guy, am an imposter at work, terrible at everything I do, horrible friend , dreadful mum etc. it's telling me the pills just numb my horrid existence. But when I'm on them I don't feel like that. I feel blessed and lucky. Then I read all these articles that say ' anti depressants are a placebo, they just numb you, you don't need them, they are over prescribed. Then I feel ashamed for asking ....

I've recently started back on Sertraline, I'm only a week in but I know I wouldn't have got through this week without them.

There is no shame in starting over with them

@TaraRhu

Are you unhappily married?

@justasking111 no, I'm not unhappily married.

Eve if you were unhappily married, in my experience the pills would help you work out what to do. I can’t solve any of my problems unless I’m on them I’ve realised!

Then back on the pills. I had to take them at three points in my life, after both babies and when starting up our own business.

Haven't needed them for over thirty years now. My GP said my battery was flat and needed time to recharge. A nice analogy I thought

@justasking111 @Countrylife2002 thanks I know I'm not thinking right. I just wish I didn't have to go grovelling to the doctor. I just feel so embarrassed by it which is rediculous.

I’ve never even had a conversation with the GP about mine, just explained online and they prescribed them.

How about a phone appointment? You can write down in advance exactly what you'd like to say.

I have come off mine twice, both times I ended up relapsing. I restarted a few weeks ago and then stopped because felt a failure. However I was just getting worse so I restarted yesterday. I completely get where you are coming from but my gp said that if it was medication for high blood pressure I wouldn't think twice about taking it.