Hi everyone
This is my first post. I'm seeing the doctor on Tuesday about my anxiety levels and the possibility I have autism. I have found it difficult to learn things in jobs for many years now with the result I have often lost them. I also find it hard to read what people mean in what they say, particularly when it's non verbal. This afternoon has left me torn between anger with someone else and doubts about myself.
There's a guy I've been communicating with via Facebook Dating and then WhatsApp.
His conversation hadn't been the most interesting but I thought perhaps if we met up it might flow better.
He'd said it was a coffee date but then after one coffee (on a shared sofa and with a rather humdrum conversation) asked if I wanted to go for a walk. I asked where to partly from a safety viewpoint and partly because I thought he might have a particular place or event in mind.
He didn't really have one except "perhaps a pub". I tried again to generate some conversation expanding on likes and dislikes, which didn't go far. He also didn't really listen to me when he asked if I was going to have beer - I said I didn't like that or wine but preferred fruit ciders. He then exclaimed, "Have you never tasted alcohol?" like I'd said something freaky and it wasn't what I said.
At the first pub we came to the doorman told him to take off his cap and he went in still wearing it. The place was absolutely rammed and he suggested us going on a shared table around a load of noise.
I said I didn't want to share a table and was a bit annoyed with him for suggesting it. The next pub we went to had 4 or 5 big screens showing the football with noise fit to raise the roof.
I am a big footy fan and would have probably enjoyed watching the game if out with mates or an established boyfriend. However, there'd been no suggestion of it beforehand and I would have thought the point of a first date was talking.
I said it was very loud and the guy said "You don't like it?" in a quite incredulous tone. I said I thought the whole point was to talk and tipped over the edge, went outside.
He didn't come after or call me so I headed for the railway station. I can't help thinking most women wouldn't have liked either pub for a first date but I also wonder if I projected too much of my stress on him.