Sleep deprived at breaking point

[help4562]

I'm a lone parent

I'm so sleep deprived, my 1 year old doesn't sleep. She cries for 4 hours every night

I put her in bed with me it doesn't help, she still cries. She pinches me

I'm broken, I've got no help

I'm so frustrated I have just scratched myself all over, I can't cope anymore I don't know what to do

I'm supposed to be going back to work, how will I do this, I'm so tired I can't string a sentence together usually. I'm covered in scratches

Please has anyone got advice

I try leaving her in her cot to settle and she will just cry and cry relentlessly, she doesn't "give in" at all

Oh OP, I feel for you. Sleep deprivation is really rough, that’s why they use it to interrogate people! Lots of people will have different advice, but I would look at sleep training her, getting her into a really good routine - waking at the same time everyday - so waking her up if need be, then napping at the same time, waking her up if she’s taking too long a nap - just until she’s settled into a routine, then they naturally start waking up during these times.

Is she waking up for milk? What time does she go to bed? How many naps?

I hope it gets easier for you OP

I'm crying about this myself right now :( its 3am, had 1 hour tonight so far. 13 months and i have had at most 4 hours for over a year. Its even hit and miss if she will nap in the day. I have also tried all suggestions from health visitor.

I tried co-sleeping but thats got more impossible as she has got older and more mobile as she just kicks and slaps me throughout the night in her sleep 😭😭

I am having more regular health visitor visits. They are looking into if there is anything underlying that is too early to diagnose so currently monitoring. This isn't the only issue :(

So sending solidarity, unfortunately no advice :(

All i can suggest is trying to get support via health visitor or any outsourced help they can apply for.

https://www.home-start.org.uk/Pages/Category/things-we-can-help-with

I'm sorry for everyone going through the same

I've had to call 111 this morning to MH triage, as called my GP over 30 times and couldn't get through

I have harmed myself last night, I need help

Last time I saw my GP in Jan they said they were sending a referral to MH services, been told today this has never happened and I'm not open to services

I've been waiting, suffering

I've had no help today, waiting for someone to call but not been told how long that will be

So sorry you’re struggling @help4562 if possible I would try to get referred to the perinatal mental health team ( u can self refer in my area but you would need to check where u are, your gp or health visitor should know) I have been under them for a few months with PND ( even though my child is nearly 2) and the support from them has been amazing.

did 111 give u any good advice? X

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

I know you said you've tried leaving her to cry but have you actually done controlled crying properly for several days in a row? I was in your situation and at breaking point but controlled crying did work. I did it after exhausting every other option such as co-sleeping, gentle retreat etc. It saves my life. You need to be very calm and consistent but firm. Go in, hug her, tell her you love her and it's time to sleep and then leave. My DD cried for many hours the first night but I stayed calm and consistent. By night 3 she was sleeping through, 12 hours.
If you get stressed and give in, the problem continues.

@SallyWD I have but she is just very stubborn, she will just cry for hours if u let her

I love her so much but I just feel broken