I feel suicidal and have no one to talk to

[Belizimo]

Problems Lone parent.Dead end job, with zero management support/no staff and involving extreme high risk.Relationship problems/abuse.Live in small, impoverished area.No finances.Positives DC a bit older and I think should be ok to move if we can.Can transfer employment skills.

Hi op

Sorry your feeling so shit and life's crap for you right now.

Do you have any family or friends that could help you to start getting some help?

Talk works and the crisis team are there to help you with your mental health or your gp

Can you look for a higher paying role somewhere else?

Womens aid. Can you contact them?

Your life is very precious and you are completely irreplaceable so please don’t kill yourself. Please please call the Samaritans

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

I'm having a nervous breakdown and it is so embarrassing. I've always been strong. I phoned a relative for help, but a lot of what they're saying is just shame and more or less how I have brought this on myself

Thank you for responding

Please talk to someone as others have suggested. Your DC needs you - you are irreplaceable to them - and good times will come again even if it doesn’t feel like it just now.

I have never had a breakdown before. I sent the man I've been seeing a string of messages, I now wish I could unsend

Don’t worry, he doesn’t matter. I’ve done the same before and years later it’s a distant memory. I promise things will improve but you need to speak to somebody as a first step - Samaritans or GP.

Morning! I've been there, many, many times. Stay with us, keep breathing. My experience is that this feeling always passes. Sometimes it takes a while, but it goes.

I found I had to block any embarrassing thoughts from my mind. I also blocked anything I couldn't change - like things that happened in the past. I got help with that from a clinical psychologist. Have you been able to look for help, yet?

I'm going to call the GP in the morning. I think I need something to help me sleep.

It's been an on off relationship and it all came to a head recently. We both like eachother but neither of us are in the right place for a proper a relationship.

Besides that, I have zero support almost in every aspect of my life. Work most of all and DC dad not interested. Being an adult, this happens, I know. No one actually cares.

I have had some therapy. I cancelled my therapist appointment today. Not going to work tomorrow. I'm not ever off, but feel I need to stay at home tomorrow and cry and feel sorry for myself. It looks like I may have a relative coming around tomorrow evening

Thank you for responding

Please don't feel embarrassed OP! You're dealing with tough stuff and it's hard. It's ok to find it difficult.

I don't have any useful advice but just want you to know that I care about you, even though I'm just a stranger. People do care. Your DC love you. Talk to the Samaritans if your relatives or friends are unable to give you the support you need.

Thank you. I called Samaritans years back and they said they couldn't deal with me because I was blubbering on the phone and that although I was dealing with abuse, because at that point I wasn't suicidal they couldn't help

I've called Samaritans, anyway, and they're not picking up.

So sorry to hear that Samaritans didn't help in the past and that they aren't picking up.

I'm still here if you want to keep talking in this thread.

Staying at home can be very healing. I spent years (literally years) curled up in bed. Look after yourself.

Hello
Just sharing this organisation as an option too between 5pm- midnight
https://www.thecalmzone.net/

https://www.thecalmzone.net/get-support

Thank you for responding.

I got through to Samaritans and they were helpful this time. I'm going to take a few steps to try and take care of myself

Hi Belizimo,

We're really sorry to hear you're feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - there are lots of organisations listed which can give you some help right now, so please take a look.

We can see that another Mumsnetter has already posted the links for the Samaritans website and we're really glad to hear that you've found them to be helpful this time.

If you find texting easier, do take a look at Shout's website. Shout 85258 is a free, confidential, anonymous text support service. Its trained volunteers are available all hours of the day and night to listen and support you to get to a calmer and safe place.

Here too is a link to Mind's website, and in particular their tips for everyday living which could help when you're feeling low.

We hope things start to feel a bit easier for you soon.

I'm here for you to keep talking on this thread OP.
Really sorry you are feeling this. You are allowed to cry it out and feel like shit.
I feel maybe we should try and get you to feel better in your body first before you worry about what is going on in your mind and I wonder if the lack of sleep is really making things worse. I know that I am a completely different person if I am sleep deprived.

Take the day off work, order food in, maybe go for a quick walk or open the window and let some fresh air in.
Stay in your bed or on the sofa and let your body regulate. The goal here is to wind your body down so that it can rest and you can set yourself up for a good night's sleep. Maybe try and limit caffeine for today.
and talk it out, or write it out.

When I was feeling in a rut I used to imagine myself sat across from myself and I'd ask myself questions and then I'd answer them like I would to a friend.

So if you feel comfortable, you can always vent on here and tell us what is worrying you the most and we can work down the list 💐

I'm going to sleep for most of the day. I had had a few drinks last night and that has obviously turned a bad situation worse.

Waiting on a call back from the GP. I feel so ashamed of myself.

The Samaritans are always picking up, but you might be in a queue. it hopefully won't be a long queue though, they have dozens, sometimes hundreds of listeners on at any one moment

The Samaritans number is 116 123, for anyone else reading

There's nothing to feel ashamed of. You're doing the right things.
I've been in the blackest of times, and although it never feels like it will, it does pass. Can you reschedule the therapy appointment to have over the phone? I have fou days that helpful when I can't go out and just want to withdraw.
I'm sorry the Samaritans didn't help you that first time, but glad they did this morning. I've also recently had email dialogue with them over a couple of months, which helped me feel supported and not alone at a very difficult time in my life. Perhaps you could try that?

Don’t be ashamed, everyone does things they’re not proud of at some point in their life. It sounds as if there is a huge amount of stress in your life at the moment. Take all the help that’s out there, and be kind to yourself.