Help me escape this mild depression

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I've been advised I'm suffering from mild depression. It's not the first time, however the things I usually do to resolve it for myself (sleep whenever I can, allow a reasonable about of wallowing and exercise a tonne) aren't readily available to me atm with two small, demanding, children. I can't seem to think myself out of the fog, and every solution I consider presents itself alongside 3 problems. Does anyone have advice on how to escape this hole?

Everything is 5x more difficult than normal, my limbs feel heavy, my brain feels borderline hungover most of the time. I have no motivation, my memory is shocking and concentration next to non-existent. I just want to sleep, and escape into on my phone.

I'm home with the kids 3 days a week, during those days we are always out and about seeing people or walking, but I'm finding it increasingly tough to follow along with the chat or multitask effectively. On my working days I cycle or walk for about an hour per day, and work outside a few times a month as well. Basically no shortage of fresh air. Definitely not enough exercise (walking at kid pace doesn't really get my blood pumping) but about as much as I have energy for right now.

I have a pretty healthy diet, though more recently I've been upping coffee and sugar to try and increase my energy levels (unsuccessfully). I take a vitamin and iron tablet daily. Sleep is a tough one, my youngest is still waking on average 3x a night, and will scream the house down if my OH tries to be the one to go to her. We've talked about me having a night in a hotel or something, but money is tight and I don't really think one night is going to resolve the bigger issue. When the weather gets better I'm seriously considering camping for a few nights just to get some uninterrupted sleep, but I'm not up for it when it's wet and cold.

I go to a club once a week, so I have a hobby which has genuinely helped in the last few months. I can feel my mood dip if I miss it or it isn't on for some reason. Have a very supportive spouse. Honestly on paper I don't feel like I have any reason to be feeling the way I do. I'm irritable, emotional and just feel really bleak. I don't want to be like this anymore.

Any ideas?

I'm not a dietician but I don't think upping your caffeine and sugar is a good idea. Who advised you that you're suffering from mild depression? The first thing I'd suggest would be blood tests, inc. thyroid as your description might suggest a deficit, and a full check up to rule out any medical issues.

@Eyesopenwideawake it was an NHS nurse. I'm now on a wait list for counselling but that might take 18 months.

Wouldn't say upping caffeine was the smart choice, more of a tide over in the moment because I thought I was just tired.

Did you have any tests done? Always a good idea to check that the engine is in good order before assuming it's the computer is faulty. (Tortuous car reference there - sorry!).

@Eyesopenwideawake no, it was a phone appointment. Do I just call the GP and ask for tests? Haven't ever done anything like that before.

I'm not in the UK so don't know but if you make an appointment with your GP and tell them how you are feeling - especially "Everything is 5x more difficult than normal, my limbs feel heavy, my brain feels borderline hungover most of the time. I have no motivation, my memory is shocking and concentration next to non-existent" then I would hope that they'd arrange for blood tests.

OP, you sound just like I did when I went through sleep hell with my little one. That interrupted sleep (or just not sleeping) did a number on me and for a while there I really did feel like a zombie just slogging through life with no energy or motivation. Once my little one was sleeping through the night everything changed. I know this isn't giving you a solution but wanted to say I think the lack of sleep is likely contributing massively to how you are feeling.

Get blood tests. Iron, b12

Sleep is essential, probably #1 in importance for physical and mental health. Definitely get blood tests and then take vitamins and iron.
Is there any way your DH can try and push through a solution to get your youngest to accept him during the night so you can get some sleep? It may take a week or two but be well worth the effort.

Good luck OP, take good care of yourself, you deserve it.

Echoing the call to find a way for DH to be able to help with nighttime duties. I'm sure there are lot of resources out there on this because it's not sustainable for OP to be the sole provider of nighttime care for years on end.

Echo the other posts about sleep. My DC are older now (7 and 9) but I remember that feeling well of starting the days with dread after no sleep after the night wakings and I would walk so much but nothing could shake the fog. I'm now peri-menopausal and suffering with insomnia (oh the joys) so those feelings are back again but perhaps not quite as persistent. The days I don't sleep really are the worst.
I used to occasionally go for a night in the local Premier Inn (mid week, quite cheap) just to catch up on a bit of sleep when kids were tiny and able to be fed by DH. It doesn't solve the bigger issue but it does help.

Thanks all. He's taken them away camping this weekend so I can have two uninterrupted nights sleep. Hoping the weather clears soon so this can happen more often.

We've tried and tried him helping overnight but seriously if I'm there or she knows I'm an option she can scream for hours. She hurls herself around and we're worried she'll cause herself harm and break stuff. Not just at night either. The other day I was trying to go to the loo solo, so my partner was trying to coax her to come with him rather than follow me and she legit ran through a tonne of stinging nettles to avoid him and get to me. The girl is one determined child!!! She's a dream for other people. The fun of 3 year olds.

He really does try. Increasingly I'm finding it more and more tough to hold my temper about it. The other night I got really cross with her saying there was a parent there trying to give her what she needed, I wasn't available, go to sleep... then went back to bed, he stayed and offered her a cuddle etc but she refused and told him to 'go away'. He basically sat outside the door until she sobbed herself to sleep and we both felt horrendous. He's a frickin awesome dad, works from home and does flexible hours so he's around with them, does bedtime, takes her to childcare etc...I don't understand the extreme level of her parental preference. The more I 'reject' her in these ways (for my own sanity) the more intensely she clings on in subsequent days.

I'm about to go for a nice walk to get some steps in, via a supermarket to buy myself something delicious for tea. I'd rather sleep 😂 but feel like it would be good for me to do something nourishing. I'm just so sick of being snappy and having very little motivation. Been intending to go on this walk since about 3pm, yet here I am.

Oh no!! Oh I hope it doesn't last for you, insomnia is horrid. My sister said this, the kids don't sleep for years and then you segway into menopausal insomnia and then you get through that but you're up all night needing to pee...so get used to it. I'm hoping there'll be a few years between the latter two though! She's full of supportive gems like that 🙄

I went to a hotel a few times when the DC's were really small, good on you doing it as well. Was really helpful! Unfortunately the CoL crises has put paid to any budget for stuff like that right now. But we're headed into camping season, so there's that as an option.

It sounds really tough OP. I do feel sorry for all of you and trying to endure her sobbing. Maybe just maybe try doing something entirely different- like co-sleeping for awhile? If you put a mattress on the floor of your room or even allow her to sleep with you but tell her you will take her back to her room once she has fallen deeply asleep? Sweet dreams to you all. ;)

Hadn't thought about the mattress with me, that's worth a go. Thanks!

She's co-slept since day one, then for the last...I don't even know, 8 months (maybe?) I've been trying to get her into her own bed. She starts in there no worries, but wakes overnight and comes to find me. Then attempts to sleep as close to be as humanly possible/on top of me if she can manage it. She's an extremely light sleeper so have never managed a transfer. My oldest starts the day at about 5am because he always need the bathroom. Been that way 5 years! Very regular kid 😂 He'll go back to bed, but it's another wake. Very tiring time!! Here's hoping this'll all be a memory someday. I do cherish the cuddles, would just like it to be balance with actual rest so I don't feel like an increasingly overweight, grumpy husk of a human.

Another idea for you OP that works for my DD and her two wee ones is , along with the extra mattress in your room maybe put one in your other dear child's room. Our GD 3.5 has found lately that she likes to sleep in the same room as her DB 1.5. Win-win-win!

That is a win win, so glad it's working!! My two already share a room <3 hasn't quite been the flex I hoped it would be, but they play nicely in the mornings which is nice.

you might be out in the fresh air but are you appreciating the nature?
can you try and have quiet, listen to the birds?
do some gardening?