Help to find meaning in life when it seems so pointless?

[Keeponkeepingonandon]

I’m on long term sick leave with MH issues. I have no friends or family.
Everything feels pointless so how can I find some meaning in life?

I agree with the gratitude idea.

As soon as I wake up in the morning I think of three things I'm grateful for. It's a useful way of recalibrating, getting out of your own head etc.

OP, the thing that makes me happy, calms me down is growing things. I’m looking forward to planting my favourite flowers (and some veg due to the cost of living). It brings such joy to plant seeds, water them and watch them grow into the beautiful flowers they become. I grow plants and herbs that are particularly good for bees and butterflies (even some birds!) and enjoy watching them doing their bit. It’s the only time my mind gives me a break.

Even if you don’t have a garden, or just a small yard you can plant in large pots. Do you think this would help?

🌸🌸 sending you a hug too. Please try to care about yourself again.

A great post 👏🏻

It’s mindfulness isn’t it? Being able to be in the moment and appreciate all the little things. I’m not saying it’s easy- it absolutely isn’t, but when I manage it, I do feel more at peace.

This depends on your spiritual beliefs but for me, life doesn’t have meaning. It’s all just chance that we’re here on this planet. I don’t believe life has purpose or meaning. Some might think that this outlook doesn’t help because if life has no meaning, what is the point of anything? But I’ve actually found it quite freeing. I feel less pressure to think about what I ‘should’ be doing and more about what I would like to do. We can find moments that feel meaningful in the midst of it all.

Spending time with animals and children can be helpful, volunteering, exercise (moving your body is good for your mind), being in nature, being creative so making or baking something. Singing. These are some of the things that contribute to a feeling of well-being for me. I hope you find something that helps you OP. 💐

I actually wouldn't recommend getting a pet. It can lead to an additional sense of obligation and can constrain your life. Something with less commitment such as walking somebody's dog or cat sitting would be better for the time being.

What do you enjoy, OP? Are there any local groups where you can meet people while you do something you enjoy? Learning something, like a language class? A walking group? You could check your local council website for things like that. Also try to spend time outside. I'm sure you have thought of these things and the first steps can seem insurmountable, but as soon as you start to achieve little things you will feel better. All the very best.

Hello there again.
Thinking of you and hoping that today has been better. DH and I were in our fifties when life got hard for us too. It's a time of weighing things up I think.

Could you get a second medical opinion on the medication? My DH was very wary of taking medication when first prescribed, but when things became too much to bear he took it. It certainly helped take away the feeling of crisis for him - kind of gave him a balance so that he had the strength and will to do other things that helped him. When he found an even keel with the medication the therapy, exercise, being outdoors stuff and just plain getting out of bed became easier and he started to feel better gradually. After a while he weaned off the medication. He wishes he'd started it earlier as it was a turning point for him.

I hope that helps a tiny bit. Don't suffer if you think your therapist isn't helping any more. It might just be that you will be better with someone else/different. Take care of yourself.

Try to remember how unlikely it was for you to be conceived and be born. That say sound bizarre, but honestly the chances of you being made were so so so so tiny that there must be a reason for your existence!

Secondly, when I am feeling sad, I love watching this video to remember how tiny weeny I am in this vast universe xxx

Thirdly, text SHOUT on 85258

Fourth, download 'my possible self' and do some of the activities on there x

5th, hug yourself and love yourself x don't beat yourself up- you are loved!

Could you try the antipsychotics? It can be disheartening in healthcare when you have a next stage treatment but the patient doesn’t want to use it.

I think I might have to because I can’t carry on like this. It’s hard to ask for help though.

Seriously. Read this. Then take on board what can of it, and start seeing everything differently.

Ironically when I was at my lowest ebb going to work saved me. Taking time off gave me far too much time to think about my problems. Being with other people and having a purpose was the answer. It was crazily hard to physically get back at first but made me feel so much better .

Also, look up silver pebble on Twitter. She faces the same problem and posts a journal of little things - a flower or nice stone- that keep her going

x.com/silverpebble/status/1783752190193987594?s=46&t=yW9_XCF-45Wj6Y1ZADKs9Q

Totally agree. My worst period of depression by far was when I was unemployed with too much time to think.

My suggestion might sound counterintuitive. But how about accepting completely how you feel? It's exhausting constantly battling depression. I'm not suggesting you give in to the feeling of 'what's the point?' But if you can't see a reason to get up, try saying: and that's fine. I'm allowed to spend today in bed. If I need and want to, a day in bed is a perfectly okay way to spend a day.' Ditch the guilt. Just curl up in your duvet and do some sensory awareness - how cosy the duvet is against your skin (or how scratchy), how warm you feel. Watch the sunlight through chinks in the curtains.Tell yourself there is nowhere you need to be and nothing you need to do right now except for this. If it means taking a day off work, do. Depression is a physical illness as well as a mental one. You can't get better without rest.

It's so much harder without friends or family, @Keeponkeepingonandon. I'm in almost the same situation. So much is said about about recovery from MH bring about connection. I can see that's true but if you don't have those connections and find them hard or impossible to make, then it's that much harder.

Exactly, the most important thing in life is friends and family and everything is pointless when you are completely alone.

I'm trying to muddle along without for now. One thing that was a true eye-opener for me was reading about how important casual social interaction is for how you feel. So all the small interactions in shops, on the bus etc are important. Plus activities/hobbies where you have some low stakes, causal social interaction. I would have dismissed all of this as superficial, but they are actually an important part of our web of interactions. I've always hated even the word "hobby" let alone having one, but more recently I've started gardening courses for people with MH issues and it has made a difference. It's a focus outside of myself without having to have friends.

Also a cat turned up on my doorstep and his owners didn't want him back. He is now a dear friend.

I always thought the answer was really good therapy or some kind of life changing event, and sometimes it is. But I don't have that and I am still feeling a little better than this time last year when I was desperately researching suicide methods.

I’m so pleased you are making some positive changes and feeling a bit better @SaveMyArchitrave.

That's kind of you, but I really only posted to say that there can be small ways to improve things. Small things which ime its so easy to assume are not enough and so not worth the (considerable) effort.

If you feel comfortable doing so, you could post what you've tried to find meaning?