Hello everyone , can I have a bit of advice if possible ? ( please be kind I struggle )
So after 10 years I've finally asked for a little more help off the doctors , I am medicated for anxiety and depression ( anxiety more) and I just for the passed 2 years have definitely thought it's more tbh an anxiety as my MH has declined over nothing. I get so so angry at nothing or things to at would never make someone angry , if there's loud bangs or loud people it sends me into over load I cannot cope with it I end up shouting " stop shut up it's too much" for example my nephew was shouting on his Xbox and he's been staying with me for a couple of months and I physically am getting so irritated at the shouting of the Xbox to the point I've shouted to come off of it because I can't cope with the screaming it just does something to me , I can't concentrate, I used to be such a organized person I can't even do that no more , I forget everything , I can't hold down friendships my friend of 15 years I didn't speak to for 2 months because my anxiety and depression put me in a hole I didn't want to interact with anyone. I left my parter of 7 tears for the same thing for a month 2 years ago even tho he's never done nothing but help and be supportive. I'm back home now and trying to sort myself out but I'm struggling to think this is just anxiety. I've asked the doctors for help on maybe an assessment to see if it's anything else but I'm petrified because I have children , I do everything for my children there the only people that help me keep going and be normal them referring me to the mental health team is terrifying because what if they say I have bipolar or something and take my children? I've avoided this for years because of that but I feel like I want to feel happy. I'm not Suicidal or hurt myself and never have but it's still not fair to feel unhappy and have these feelings. Sorry for it being so long I just needed that off my chest