My story is not unusual, I'm not expecting a miracle answer or any answers at all, but I am in a space in my head tonight that I just need to tell someone how I feel. I separated from my controlling, abusive husband 6 years ago after a 29 year marriage. The straw that broke the donkeys back I think was that my son at the age of 13 told me that he had been sexually abused by a family member on my husbands side of the family and my husband took the side of his family and called my son a lier. It still took me 5 years to leave him though. Not one person outside of my front door knew what my life was like except my kids. I thought I had done really well to hide it from them too but they always knew, they always knew when to keep out of the way, to stay quiet. I eventually left when my children were adult and I thought that leaving their dad would have no effect (I was wrong about that). Walking away was the hardest but empowering thing I have ever done. I worked hard to rebuild my life, re-educating myself getting a good job, own home and keeping my children especially my son safe or as much as you can with an adult child. Fast forward to today, my son lives with me full time, he works but struggles to hold down a job for a long period, he is addicted to Canibis, is abusive, has no respect for the home he lives in, will sell his body for the next drug if he has run out of money since I have put a stop on all of my own bank accounts so that he can no longer just take money from there. I know that I have facilitated his behaviour just like I did my ex-husband. I have created the man he has become and this time I can not just walk away, he is my child. I find myself in the same situation with no way to run to, no friends except for work colleagues just my thoughts and TIK TOK to keep me company.