Is this a mental breakdown?

[Struggle1]

I think im having a nervous breakdown. I’ve felt like this for 2 years now. I have very few good days but most of the time I’m on edge, overwhelmed and just really nervous and anxious. I work 3 days after cutting from 5 days. I feel like I’m a dream like state. I went back to work today and manager asked me how my weekend was and I just talked for ages, I know he must think I’m weird. I’m really trying. I’ve tried to eat healthier but each day for past 6 days I’ve just binged as it soothes me. I’m really struggling with my kids too but I’m doing best I can. I know the question will come up regarding DH so truthfully he’s no help. I’ve tried talking about how I’m feeling but his response is always “you work 3 days, how can you be so stressed?”. He has a highly stressful job so to him I’m having an easy life. I’ve had talking therapy for 12 weeks now and they extending it. Tbh I feel it’s such a waste of my time but im attending and doing my homework tasks and really trying. My home is a mess. Couldn’t find matching socks today for my youngest (5).

I'm not sure if breakdown is the right word but it certainly sounds like you are struggling with your mental health in some way. I assume you've spoken to the gp hence the talking therapy? Sounds like you should keep doing it but don't be afraid to go back to the gp and push for more help like medication. Has the gp been clear that they think is going on? Is it depression? You mentioned being overwhelmed, is that a new feeling or have you always struggled with it?

Feeling disassociated and not fully in control of yourself can be a response to unmanageable stress. It doesn't matter if you only work 3 days. If you're stressed you're stressed.
Maybe make an appointment with my GP to discuss whether medication might help? When I got into a overwhelmed, anxious state about a decade ago I felt exactly the same as you described. I took prozac for six months and it absolutely turned things around for me. Then I stopped taking it and I've been more or less ok since then, despite some really difficult life events.

thank you@WonderingWanda I’ve always been depressed to some degree as I had childhood trauma but I’ve never felt this bad.

I’m really worried about taking medication @izimbra as it hasn’t worked out in past. I took 3 different types of SSI (I think that’s the term, it’s been a while) all 3 made me feel so bad. I actually got worse and had thoughts of suicide which stopped after stopping. I can’t risk again as I’m worried I might harm myself or my kids. I went really bad on the last one, I’m sure it started with a Z, I think Zoloft

I feel like this when I’m in burnout. I’m diagnosed Autism and ADHD but I suspect I may have complex PTSD too..(under community mental health team). When I’m stressed I get anxious to the point I can barely function. Little things set me off (last night I had a panic attack crawling in traffic to a petrol station thinking I’d run out of fuel). It’s very draining. I do think there’s a difference between depression and burnout. IME depression is feeling very low in mood whereas burnout is just feeling overwhelmed and just wanting it to stop. My Mum used to say ‘Stop the world, I want to get off’. That’s how I feel.
Things that have helped me included time off work, antidepressants (older style tricyclics help me) and counselling. Knowing I’m neurodivergent has helped a lot too.

OP you've reached out that is a great sign. There is a part of you that wants to recover. Good luck on your journey

That's really worrying :-( I remember feeling unspeakably bad for a few days after starting on fluoxetine. Luckily it passed and eventually I felt better.

Sorry to hear that @Struggle1, I think childhood trauma can have devastating impacts throught out life. It might be that there's something else going on that is just enough to cause everything to resurface. It doesn't sound like your dh is being particularly understanding or kind, how are things between the two of you. Could it be the relationship which is actually triggering this overwhelm?