I'm struggling to cope, not in a concerning way so no need for worry there that I would harm myself. More in a everything feels so heavy on me.
I've had bouts of MH issues before, last one was a full on breakdown but was over 15 years ago and very different scenario. I don't feel close to breakdown this time.
It's difficult to describe how I feel.
We've had a huge run of bad luck. We lost our home just after Christmas, then both lost our jobs. Have been trying to find somewhere to rent and work but we are staying with family (in itself difficult as I'm not close to DPs family) so it's incredibly hard. Letting agents have either nothing as we are seen as disgusting for not being in work (despite having some small savings) or they've said yes to us, taken a holding fee then declined us, meaning we've lost £1400 on that alone.
Then my sister passed away, very unexpected. Very difficult circumstances and I'm having huge issues processing this.
I'm barely sleeping, not easy when you are sleeping on a living room floor anyway. Trying to sort out work but when you're not living in the area near where your DCs go to school it's impossible. Council is useless. No interest at all.
Trying to get a GP appointment is impossible, again, everything is back in our own town so an hour away, urgent and non urgent appointments only available from 8am Monday to Friday, so whenever I call everything is gone. Had an argument with the cow on the phone because I said I really needed an appointment, she then got snappy about "so does everyone" and demanded to know exactly why I felt I needed one. I said it was a private matter and she told me, before putting the phone down, that if I wouldn't explain she couldn't help.
I can't function at all, I'm trying to do a short course online to improve my job chances in an area I'm good at and know well, can I pass it? Can I heck. My brain has gone to sleep.
My boss said some vile things when he let me go, I know deep down he was being vile because he post his business due to his own stupidity and decided to lash out at me. But it's left me feeling thick as mince and useless.
I'm anxious about everything constantly. My self confidence has gone entirely.
I don't know why I'm writing this here. Maybe just to get it out my head. DP is being lovely but I'm sure I'm probably annoying the shit out of him. A friend told me I need to cheer up the other day so now I feel like I'm annoying friends by being down.
I don't know what to do. No mental health services to speak of locally unless referred by GP.