Ideas to avoid christmas pressure

[spearmintdreams]

Looking for ideas on how to avoid Christmas and the stress/pressure of it all. Potentially going away for a holiday.

Announce to family and friends in good time that you are having a low key Christmas, no presents and cards. Obviously if you have kids they should receive presents from you.
I have done Christmas abroad in India but there was no escape from it there! The hotel had decorations up and Christmas songs in the lobby...

I think now is a perfect time to start planning what you would like Christmas to look like.

What aspects of Christmas do you find the most stressful?

Things that have helped reduce stress of Christmas is to ask people what they want for Christmas or ask if what I have thought is ok. I have a fixed budget so if it's over this ask another family member to join and do a joint present. This reduces the "is this the right present stress". I also only buy for my mum, dad, niece, one of my sister's and my daughter. Me, my partner and my other sister have December birthdays we only do birthdays.

In recent years I have celebrated Christmas and my birthday with my family on the same day. We spend Christmas day with my in-laws which just do a nice meal and a presents very low key and no fuse then go for a Sunday lunch at my parents after Christmas. I find my parents stressful so breaking up the celebration is helpful. It means that Christmas comes and goes over the course of 2 weeks but in much more manageable chunks

The in laws cook for us but we have never cooked for them and I really don't want to. I don't want to keep receiving either cause I feel guilty.

I want to spend time with dh and kids and family that I can be myself with (my side of the family).

Kids are spoilt rotten by in laws and their behaviour is awful 🙈. It stresses me out so much. Kids become overwhelmed with it all and consequently we do too.

I want to keep things calm and hide. Help!

I’m posting partly to follow.

Think about what you like and don’t like for Christmas.

My neighbour is really good and this, she doesn’t over commit.

Thing you could try

• having one weekend in December when you don’t do anything. Pjs and films
• No presents or give people outside of your own young children Amazon vouchers or cash
• No cards
• Very limited or no home decorations
• TOMM does a weekly count down which starts in September - you don’t have to do anything but it’s good at spreading out the work

We went away on holiday very early January and that was lovely but especially with kids holiday take an effort for pack for.

Just read your update - Sounds like you want a Christmas away from PIL. Do you see them every year?

I’m posting partly to follow.

Think about what you like and don’t like for Christmas.

My neighbour is really good and this, she doesn’t over commit.

Thing you could try

• having one weekend in December when you don’t do anything. Pjs and films
• No presents or give people outside of your own young children Amazon vouchers or cash
• No cards
• Very limited or no home decorations
• TOMM does a weekly count down which starts in September - you don’t have to do anything but it’s good at spreading out the work

We went away on holiday very early January and that was lovely but especially with kids holiday take an effort for pack for.

Just read your update - Sounds like you want a Christmas away from PIL. Do you see them every year?

I’m posting partly to follow.

Think about what you like and don’t like for Christmas.

My neighbour is really good and this, she doesn’t over commit.

Thing you could try

• having one weekend in December when you don’t do anything. Pjs and films
• No presents or give people outside of your own young children Amazon vouchers or cash
• No cards
• Very limited or no home decorations
• TOMM does a weekly count down which starts in September - you don’t have to do anything but it’s good at spreading out the work

We went away on holiday very early January and that was lovely but especially with kids holiday take an effort for pack for.

Just read your update - Sounds like you want a Christmas away from PIL. Do you see them every year?

Christmas is so over the top sometimes but I wonder if your kids love it at your in-laws. The stress of Christmas goes over their heads. Can you schedule in some breaks. Can you be honest with your in laws and say you would like to do a shorter visit or take a break.
I'm not sure you need to feel guilty about eating at theirs. The genuinely might be happy to do it.
How old are your kids? They will (should) get better behaved as they get older.

Do you try and do too much. Some people (women mainly) get so hung up on all the nonsense that goes on around Christmas they are there own worst enemy.

I used to live in a country where Christmas was much less of a thing. They celebrated it but not with all the fanfare that they have in the UK. I loved it and have carried on with very low key christmasses. I also lived in the states for a bit and found that I really enjoyed Thanksgiving. It's simpler than Christmas and just about getting together with family and friends.

Can you write down exactly what you have to do and see if you can remove some of the stress.

It is 24 hours in the dead of winter.

Agree with pp's. Have a think about what you want your Christmas to look like, then make a plan to make that happen.

Do you have to go to ILs? Could you do a Christmas visit with them a few days before, then spend the day at home?

A holiday could be great but don't underestimate the work required (packing, entertaining children while away from home, making sure you have space to just relax in).

Really it depends on what sort of day you want.
We don't have dc but have done Christmases away a few times in a mix of busy non stop places (NYC) and freezing cold cabin in the middle of nowhere places. Both great but different, and both of them meant I missed home a little.

The good thing is that you're planning it now so you have lots of time to get things in place and let people know what you're doing.

Kids are 6 they are twins. They enjoy Christmas at in laws but become tearful and a handful for us to handle after a visit. They become overwhelmed and their behaviour is awful.

What about a shorter visit to your in-laws? Do they live close by?
Or a walk in the afternoon. I think a lot of kids get overwhelmed at Christmas even if they are in calm situations.

Do you go to them every year? How did that happen?

What do your DH and dc want to do for Christmas?
Are you and DH in basic agreement?
Maybe go on holiday for a reset year and then change plans after that so they work for everyone.

Yes they live close by and I have no idea why we go there every year.

Dh and I are in agreement. He wants to please me.

I live in London and I know friends who walk to Edgware Rd for a kebab on Xmas day. The streets are quiet and it's a lovely walk and the other people in the kebab restaurants are not celebrating Christmas. They love it! If you live in a city there will may be somewhere you can walk and eat a non Christmas type cuisine.