Feeling flat and anxious

[camerashy159]

I’ve always been an anxious person (though never officially diagnosed or medicated), but I feel like it’s getting progressively worse as I’ve gotten older. I had a pretty stressful year last year after being made redundant and dealing with a close family bereavement. This year is already looking so much better, I have embarked in a new career, had a puppy and have lots of things to look forward to, yet I feel so flat. I love my new job it is perfect for me, yet I am so anxious that I might do something wrong and loose it - which I know is irrational as there is no reason for this, but I can’t help it. I guess it’s almost imposter syndrome, I’ve had some rubbish jobs in the past so can’t believe I have fell so lucky, almost waiting for something to go wrong. Everybody says I deserve this job but I can’t shake this anxiety. From working and worrying I get to the weekend exhausted and drained, and the thought of socialising also makes me anxious. I have felt this way since covid, I find myself always making excuses or cancelling last minute. Then I end up sitting here thinking I should be doing more and feeling guilty. I just feel flat - I can’t motivate myself to go out or see friends, yet if I stay in I overthink and find myself restless and unrelaxed. I have a lovely supportive partner who is always encouraging me to be my best self, but atm I’m definitely not and I’m finding myself in a rut I can’t shake. He is very sociable and always making plans and I dread being left alone. Any advice? I can’t be alone in this. I love my life and so grateful for the wonderful people in it and I the opportunities I have had, so many people are worse off - but I find myself flat and unsure of what to do to pick myself up. Sometimes I find it hard to enjoy the things that make me happy, as the last few years my happy moments are almost immediately followed by hardship, something going wrong or a bout of stress or sadness, we joke that I’m a jinx but I’ve almost convinced myself of it now.

Maybe you have G.A.D talk to your dr get to the bottom of it there is help out there good luck

You are not alone in how you feel.
I can completely relate and have often felt like this. My situation is different at the moment to yours but has definitely been similar in the past.

I absolutely hate spending time alone and everytime I have too which is quite often as I only work part time I just find myself spiralling with very unhelpful thoughts etc. I’m in a very fortunate position with a roof over my head and plenty of food but yet I’m so unhappy.

I encourage you to speak to your doctor. I was put on a low dose of sertraline for a depressive episode I went through. It took a while to happen but helped so much with the constant anxiety I felt too. I tried to come off of it due to falling pregnant but it all has just hit me 10x harder so back on it again hoping to feel better soon.

Things will get better sometimes it just takes a while and you have to ride the wave x

I understand how you feel, it can be quite scary. I’ve suffered with anxiety on and off for years.
One book I found very helpful was the Dare book by Barry Mcdonagh. It’s a very no-nonsense approach and really helps!

I went through a period of feeling like this. I just couldn't understand it and didn't want to make a fuss. Eventually I realised I need to get some help as feeling like this was not normal and getting in the way of everything so I was able to find a therapist (privately). It took a few sessions but it really helped me. There wasn't a single "problem" but using somebody to talk about my feelings, issues, perceptions, etc really helped me. I also feel like I learned better ways to recognise my triggers and spot the downward spiral earlier. I could probably do with a follow up soon, just to keep me on track!