Binge Eating Disorder - help please

[StMarieforme]

I went to my GP at 18 and said that I have a very poor relationship with food. That was 43 years ago. They didn't take me seriously then and they don't now, and I'm 61.
My mother and brother were both in residential mental health care, and I have 2 adult DC and a DIL with severe MH issues.
I found out when I was 32 where it comes from via hypnotherapy- being locked in a room as a child to keep me safe from my brother whose problems resulted in a CNN lot of physical violence. They used to lock me in with food.
2 failed marriages (him cheating then DV), staying afloat financially and being a parent has meant I can't get myself sorted.
So I overeat. I know it's a stress/ emotional reaction, and a dopamine thing. But I'd like to stop. I'm overweight but I don't purge. I'm just fat. I retain some control between binges and so it's a never ending circle. I'm 5'6" and weigh 205lbs, size 18/20.
Can anyone offer some help? I went to the Gp but they just told me to try Slimpod. No referral. No Mental health support. So I'm just stuck. And I'd love to not be like this. Thanks.

I've no personal experience but didn't want to read and run.

It sounds as if some sort of counselling or CBT might help? Or some peer support?
Have you looked at www.oagb.org.uk to see if a group near you?

@WhamFantastic thank you. Unfortunately I can't cope with the religious aspect of the 12 steps, tho I do respect anyone else's beliefs.

Did the hypnotherapy help you at that time? There's a part of your subconscious mind that developed the strategy of comforting you with food (as a child) that was probably the only happiness available to you at that time. However that strategy is now not only obsolete, it's actively working against you. Remedial hypnosis could help you make that change. (Disclaimer - it's what I do. But I practice what I preach; I asked my subconscious to stop picking at biscuits a month ago. Haven't eaten one since).

@Eyesopenwideawake it was cathartic to understand why I did it, and definitely helped me to then find ways of eating to enable me to lose weight. I have often thought about hypnotherapy to resolve the underpinning issue. I think 2 things have stopped me- 1) money- I've been poor most of my life (mostly down to 2 divorces and being a single parent) - however that is not the case and I do have a better income these days. 2) fear that it won't work. (I am a great believer in hypnotherapy).
Hypnotherapy could work for this? Improve my need to binge? Thank you.

Yes, it could. Unless there's a medical condition, such as Prader-Willi syndrome (which you would be aware of), people aren't genetically programmed to over eat. Therefore it's a learned behaviour and anything the mind can learn it can unlearn.

In relation to 2) I, and most practitioners, always start with a free, no obligation consultation to make sure it's the right therapy for you. If hypnotherapy worked for you in the past it's highly likely (although not a given) that it will work for you in the future.

@Eyesopenwideawake thank you. I like that phrase "anything that's learned can be unlearned".
As an aside, my DD27 has multiple health issues and is completely stuck in her life. She is clever and educated, but her many physical and mental health problems mean that she spends every day at home, alone, whilst I'm at work. She doesn't seem to have any hope or drive to change things, just a sad acceptance that this is it for her. I wonder if hypnotherapy may help to change her mindset? Thanks again.

Remedial hypnosis (which is what I do, it differs from hypnotherapy in that there's no trance involved - the person is awake and aware throughout) works best when there's a specific thought pattern, feeling or behaviour that the client wants to change; something that's identifiable and more or less measurable. It helps if can find the origin but that's not essential because the subconscious mind knows. Hypnotherapy (with trance) is less focussed/more general. But, as I mentioned upthread, there's always the free consult which would allow both sides to decide if it's appropriate.

@Eyesopenwideawake you've been very helpful- thank you. I really appreciate it.

There are agnostic groups within OA and it also doesn't need to be religious ...
I also have BED. I "dabbled" with OA (I know a lot of people who find it really helpful) but due to other commitments I've not attended meetings for a while.

OP, first of all I'm so sorry how hard this is. I would suggest therapy as it sounds like you have mental health issues and the eating is a symptom and condition by itself. I would advise to search for trauma informed therapy, not CBT. CBT is not good for childhood trauma, which you clearly have and which affects you to this day. It may also be worth looking into EMDR and if it's effective for eating disorders?

In my experience there is no quick fix. I don't know how much processing you have already done but I find it tends to take years to see profound change.

I once considered a clinic in London, I believe it's called the London food therapy clinic or similar. It's like private outpatient treatment but I have no experience with it myself.

I'd really advise against CBT. It doesn't work for 50yo feelings and trauma surfacing. They need processing and then work on changing habits can happen.

@OneCanWonder what do these agnostic OA groups look like?

I once considered joing OA but then I realised how they work and it just means that an unhealthy relationship with food would continue. I didn't think their processes were healthy at all.

Im the same keep going back to the GP if you can contact healthy minds self refer or livingwell consortium they will access you hopefully and refer you to MH services iv been reffered after 3 yrs of asking to and its been rejected twice ! Also they do overeaters anonymous and other sortd ! Good luck

Thank you all for your support. I really appreciate the advice and will look into all suggested. It helps so much to be heard.

I haven't attended an agnostic group but have heard agnostic members speak at a virtual meeting. They basically remove the religious aspect. I'm aware of them rather than being knowledgeable about them.

My GP did acknowledge my difficulties with food but other than upping my antidepressant medication (per guideline treatment for EDs) didn't offer anything else.

I'm definitely an emotional eater (especially stress) but unfortunately I cannot remove the stress from my life (elderly and unwell parents).

Good luck.

Hi OP, So sorry late to this and to hear all you've been through. Just to touch on your first post, did you try Slimpod? It has worked for me and a lot of others and is such a supportive community (Slimpod itself via customer services, the creator Sandra & the moderators, and all the other members via the FB group). It's worth a try. It has helped me so much in terms of weightloss and fitness but also general positivity.

I have supported a close friend in recovery from binge eating. She started attending Overeaters Anonymous (OA) 10 years ago and has been consistently getting better. I realize that the AA/12 step model scares a lot of people away but the "God" aspect is pretty much completely absent now. The group accountability part really worked for her. I have seen a big change in her and our friendship is much more rewarding/rich.

Her healing has helped her siblings who also have MH issues.

I would also suggest looking into co-occurring disorders as the medications used to treat ADHD are also used to treat Binge-eating. There can be overlap among these conditions/traits/symptoms.

It is a complex condition but I have seen my friend slowly transform and cope well with the odd setback from time to time. Good luck!

Hi OP, there is also this organisation that you might find helpful https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/

I'd recommend OA too, you don't have to believe in God, you just need to accept that you are not God. Plenty of people take the group itself, or nature as their Higher Powers.

It's free (donations are genuinely voluntary and not taken from newcomers), meetings are pretty much round the clock online with some in person and it genuinely helped me to get out of the food. Good luck OP