Weird anxiety thing

[Stressheadmumma]

So I developed anxiety 20 yrs ago after being put on the spot in a big meeting and basically froze and couldn’t speak. Mortified thereafter and anxiety spiralled and hated close interactions so had same freeze reaction if anyone passed me a drink or money etc. Learnt to deal with it and overcame it somewhat but still have issues over things like someone passing me a drink and it’s like I can’t move to do it. So weird and can’t understand it but anxiety has been getting g worse again and this is coming back so badly in that someone went to pass me a business card yesterday and I had a funny feeling. Worried about all future meetings at work and pretended by internet was not working when it got to my turn to speak as just had to flea as felt so I comfortable. Really need someone to help me rationalise this. It’s so weird and can’t understand how to deal with it. Anyone have any pearls of wisdom for me please?

you would benefit enormously from professional support op. Therapy.

When the initial freeze/trauma (because it was traumatic for you) hit, a little part of your subconscious mind developed a fear response of the same situation ever happening again which is why it keeps triggering, long after the original incident. What's caused the anxiety to get worse again recently?

i had to do a presentation but was very small and online and didn’t even think I felt nervous until I started and then my voice wobbled and I struggled to get my words out. Then as that happened the cycle of keep worrying about future events is making it worse but struggling to get hold of how to change it.

So when your voice wobbled your fight or flight response would have been activated (completely out of your control) because your mind would have recognised it as a situation that made you feel bad, and it will alway try to avoid those. That's why it's carried on trying to swerve being in the same position again. A couple of session of remedial hypnosis would help, by connecting with that bit of your mind and asking it, nicely, to stop that reaction.