Please help me gain some perspective

[Whycantgiraffesdance]

I’ve posted a few times regarding my PND and intense anxiety that comes with it, I’m very much someone that dwells on things and worry’s tenfold…

im on Instagram and for a while have followed a family with a little boy who was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour last year. Sadly he has just passed away and I cannot stop thinking about him and his poor family. I didn’t know them they are virtually strangers to me expect what I saw on their daily posts on Instagram but I just feel so sad for them and their poor son. He was the same age as my little one so I guess I can relate in that way.

obviously when you hear something like this has happened on the news or whatever it’s normal to feel sympathy for the family but this is beginning to take over my thoughts and is really not helping with my already fragile state at the moment! Can someone please just help me rationalise this and help me stop these thoughts and accept that it’s sad but I need to move on from it??

thank you x

Hi @Whycantgiraffesdance, it’s not surprising you feel really sad about it. If you’ve seen all the posts and you have a little one the same age it will all feel very close to home. You probably hoped he would get better etc so it’s really sad to see. It’s different to just seeing on the news as you’ve gone on a bit of a journey with them.

Just let yourself feel a bit sad and acknowledge that it’s made you feel really down. I would also try and use this as a reason to hug your little one a bit tighter and count your blessings.

It probably hasn’t helped that you’ve been struggling anyway so if you feel a bit more emotional than others would that’s ok.

Hopefully in time the feelings will lessen a lot. X

Hey! I get like this, complete strangers on the Internet, even reading about someone losing a child makes me emotional. It's our maternal instincts, with the excessive thinking and intrusive thoughts we then picture "what if it was us?" And then we look at our kids and get even more upset at the thought of losing one of them.

I followed a woman on Instagram and it was her daughter (a twin) who had to go through heart surgery, but then unexpectedly her little boy (the other twin) died. I cried for ages about that and I go back to her page sometimes and I see her talking about her son and the grief she is going through.

We lost my brother when he was 17 (I was 7). It totally destroyed my mum and to this day she still can't talk about him without getting upset.

I think it's just a humanity response to bad news, like somethings may not affect us but might affect others massively.

Your just human, your emotions are valid. I cry like a baby whenever I see sad news just purely because its sad and heartbreaking, it makes me gug the kids a little more tighter and be grateful that they are here and hapoy and healthy. I also think thats why I have intrusive thoughts, i see something, imagine it to happen to me then end up wrapping up the kids in cotton wool which then flares the anxiety up.

Be kind to yourself 💚 your not alone x

Thank you @Squiggles23 I think that’s the thing with social media you feel like you know these people even if you’ve never seen or spoken to them in real life!

so sorry to hear about your brother @hk1993x that must have been awful, I don’t know how any parent gets over the loss of a child, must be heart breaking.

It definitely makes me grateful for what I have and that my kids are happy and healthy but it also makes me frustrated with myself as I think that compared to others I haven’t actually got anything to be depressed about so why am I?! 🙈