Hello, I just wanted to know if I will ever be able to break free of anxiety. I get we need it but my life is in constant turmoil and I'm going to look back on another 10 years wasted with my struggles.
Bit of back ground I lost my dad who had schizophrenia when I was 8 to suicide. The day he died he asked me if I wanted to go for a walk with him I said no and he hung him self. My last memory of my dad was him watching me and my sister while we were watching tv. He then backed out the living room to the garage were his took his life. 😞
I never had any counselling untill 35 for any of this I have now been in therapy for 2 years. I have had EMDR CBT and I still go I pay it private. And I feel lve come on a lot.
My counsellor treated me for PTSD and I lived my life being a yes person not to make the wrong decision and end up in horrible circumstances. I still struggle with boundaries and still am a people pleaser but a lot better.
I'm going through a stressful time and my head is fixated on health anxiety. I Google every thing worry about every pain, movement in my body.
I get deeply affected by the news.
I know I'm in a bad place because I can't focus on simple things like watching the soaps after work my head is racing. Sleep is rubbish.
I use to take sertraline but I have been off medication for a year and things were going good.
I got involved with a guy for literally 5 month and when I ended it with him as we had nothing in common he went completely off the rails drugs took and overdose. And it's brought every thing flooding back. This guy showed signs of emotion abuse. Another main reason I ended it. And he used emotion blackmail. I'm not sure if this has triggered lots of stuff.
I started a new job September and changed my career and it's not great so I'm anxious about that.
I'm practicing mindfulness, jornal breathing yet I'm in a state still. I've spent most of my day googling illnesses.
I have a 9 and 6 year old and I want to be a good mum but I have constant guilt and feel like a failure .
What else can I do for help please