10 days on and feel hit by a truck

[Auntylisa]

Hello all,
I had 6 months of bad SPD, 7 hours of labour followed by an infection that resulted in an emergency c section; bad pains meant morphine and an extended stay in hospital; i came home to face chronic constipation, no let up from the SPD, milk chill, mastitis and a whole world of pain. My son is beautiful, my partner supportive, but i just want to give him back, get on a plane and pick up my old life where i left it. Baby was an 'accident' which seems appropriate as i feel like ive been in a car crash. I am lucky in so many ways but just feel so low and dread, especially, the night times. Is it always like this or should i be asking for some kind of medication?

10 days post birth is still so early on sweetie, its quite normal to be feeling terrible, especially after all you have been through.
It WILL get better soon though, promise!

I felt exactly the same with DS1 after a terrible labour etc. You will be feeling so much better in a couple of weeks as you recover more (I did). Keep resting as much as you can, get as much help as you can and take the pain killers.

(((hugs)))

oh lisa you poor thing. god you've had a rough time. spd and c section! i had bad constipation and mastitits and i was upset enought. long labour but just managed to avoid c section courtesy of episiotomy and vacuum!

i'm telling you, i know you're exhausted, but really this is very early. of course you feel like crap! you're body has been twisted, sprained, cut, turned inside out! there will never be another time that your body experiences so much trauma at once again.

pnd is common and always something to look out for but tbh i think what you're describing is perfectly normal. the early weeks are nothing like the media portrays, its really really hard. i promise you things will get better and i pinkie promise that you will feel your body go back to normal again. it wont always be like this.

the single best bit of advice i got as a new mum for the first few wks, especially if you bf, is to stay in pjs and sleep everytime your baby sleeps. literally follow their routine while you get sleep. in a few weeks you can start to enter normal life but at the moment you need REST.

the beginning is the hardest. be good to yourself, dont worry about not jumping around with laughter and radiance. just concentrate on the basics-getting sleep whenever possible, feeding yourself with nutritionally dense food and taking all the help you can. it'll get easier and easier.

(((more hugs)))

oh lisa you poor thing. god you've had a rough time. spd and c section! i had bad constipation and mastitits and i was upset enought. long labour but just managed to avoid c section courtesy of episiotomy and vacuum!

i'm telling you, i know you're exhausted, but really this is very early. of course you feel like crap! you're body has been twisted, sprained, cut, turned inside out! there will never be another time that your body experiences so much trauma at once again.

pnd is common and always something to look out for but tbh i think what you're describing is perfectly normal. the early weeks are nothing like the media portrays, its really really hard. i promise you things will get better and i pinkie promise that you will feel your body go back to normal again. it wont always be like this.

the single best bit of advice i got as a new mum for the first few wks, especially if you bf, is to stay in pjs and sleep everytime your baby sleeps. literally follow their routine while you get sleep. in a few weeks you can start to enter normal life but at the moment you need REST.

the beginning is the hardest. be good to yourself, dont worry about not jumping around with laughter and radiance. just concentrate on the basics-getting sleep whenever possible, feeding yourself with nutritionally dense food and taking all the help you can. it'll get easier and easier.

(((more hugs)))

blardy computer !

thanks ladies, advice and comfort much appreciated/needed. He is such a good baby but i feel like he belongs to someone else; i like him etc, but i keep thinking this isnt my life but someone elses; and i am uncertain that i have it in me to keep going; will i ever get that big hit of love and adoration? And if i do, it scares me that i will love him so much. I do already feel terrible pangs of fear and love about his wellbeing. Basically, i wish this was a rollercoaster that i could get off.... why does everyone talk about being a parent as this wonderful dream fullfilment when so far, for me, it seems just riddled with fear, regret and pain? Will it ever get better?
x

Ooh, Auntylisa, it is SO hard, but SO normal, I promise you.

Mammalovesmojitos is absolutely right, you need to rug up and get your head down. Normal life WILL resume in time. It will be a different normal than you've known before, but it will become normal.

Now, a warm bath, pj's (personally I invested in some 'loungewear' ), brew up and snuggle down. This is all about you and your baby, and there are very few times in our lives when taking care of ourselves ever matters so much.

Wait for it to pass, it will. Take good care and ((hugs))

foxy-lol at 'loungewear' . auntylisa the fact that you have fear and love for his wellbeing is a sure sign that you really love him. i know that feeling that they belong to someone else-people harp on about how its YOUR baby, oh the bond, but to be fair he didn't even exist this time last year!

i never felt negative thoughts towards dd but i wasn't wafting around on clouds of ecstasy either. my love for her began as care and protectiveness and awful worry and as the months passed it became enjoyable, frivolous, fun, all-consuming love. this will happen for you too. hope you get some rest tonight.