if your adult child who lived with you........ (TW)

[wilteddandelion]

Dear mumsnetters
If your adult child who lived with you was suicidal with a plan but no date, would you want to know? How would you feel most comfortable in them broaching the subject with you - obviously it's an awful thing to be told from anyone, but especially (I'd imagine) from your own child?
Thank you

@wilteddandelion I hope you are ok. Just FYI I am unable to access my private messages. I am happy to talk if you need to.
If you need immediate help please contact to Samaritans on 116 123.
Otherwise please speak to your parents.

Are they likely to be supportive OP? If you think they are going to be supportive then 100% please tell them.
If knowing how to begin the conversation is hard then perhaps start by saying you're finding life really difficult right now and you're feeling really lost (or something to that effect that is true for you). Then I'd just go with your emotions and let it all tumble out however it does.
Personally I would desperately, desperately want my (almost adult) child to tell me and I would do everything I could to love and support and help them in any way I could.

@wilteddandelion I took an overdose last year. I understand that absolute feeling of despair when you can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. But things are much better now. Not perfect but definitely better. Hang in there.
I also have 2 adult children and if they were feeling so awful I would absolutely want them to talk to me. Xx

Please believe me when I say that your family want to know and want to help you through this. You are not a burden and they don't want you to die like this.

I've firsthand experience of the utter devastation that a suicide brings to surviving family members. Please seek help.

OP I do hope you are still reading.
Yes, I'd want to know.
No, I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself.
I would never think of you as a burden.
I'd want to take the pain away or at the very least pause the plan.
I would feel I have no right to tell you what to do or what not to do.
I would not talk you out of it out of disrespect or to invalidate your feelings.
If you are in pain and want to end things, I can appreciate those dark thoughts are overwhelming, especially if things feel hopeless.
But...things that sometimes feel unfixable and lows that feel insurmountable, just sometimes might feel less relentless a few months down the line, with different meds, a change of scene, a new therapist, a different routine or some time in respite. I'd want to know and I'd want to help.

If you don’t think your parents would take it well, then please please please find someone you think would. You deserve to live. You deserve to feel better. I have been suicidal and found an amazing counsellor that helped me through it. There’s help out there. I promise it does get better.

I promise you they won't think of this or you as a burden. They would desperately want to know so they can work through how you are feeling with you. If you don't feel up to speaking to them at the moment, is there someone else you could talk to? Another family member, or a friend or someone like the Samaritans?
If I was your parent (disclosure I am not a parent, but have a friend with suicidal ideation) I would want to know everything - what you were planning, what has got you to this point, why you think this is the only solution - as I would want to work through it all with you and show you how important you are and how much better my life is with you in it.
You are important and you matter. Please talk to someone.

Have you phone NHS 111 option 2? That is the number for mental health support. Please reach out to your loved ones or Samaritans as well

There are people who care… please reach out x

please speak to someone.

suicide isn’t a solution, my friend killed herself and the impact of the loss on everyone who loved her Was brutal. If only she could see how loved she was then her suffering would have been lessened.

please tell them. You are not a burden, nobody is a burden.