Does anyone else struggle to maintain a conversation if the topic is something you aren’t interested in?

[Lollibert]

I don’t want to come across as a rude person because I really can’t help this and I’ve always been this way, but I only have a few topics that I like conversing about and when friends talk to me about things I’m not interested in I know it would be rude to say I’m not interested and I want to talk about this or that, so I pretend to listen and completely zone out and just agree with everyone and say mhmm, and the whole time I’m thinking “when is it going to be an acceptable time/moment to change the topic to something I’m interested in” or “I just wanna talk about my cat” I really can’t help it I try to listen I really do but my mind drifts away I can only stay focused and be engaged fully when they’re talking about something I like or am interested In

Me! But l have ADHD.

Yes totally but assume that’s normal?

who wants to talk about something that’s of no interest to them?

tbh I struggle to maintain focus for even interesting topics sometimes so a boring one I can’t even fake my concentration most times!

Well, how limited are your permitted topics? If you are only prepared to talk about cats, eighties music , and the cost of living, it’s going to be pretty rare you’ll find a conversation partner.

I have social anxiety, and never know what to say at the best of times - it's much easier if it's a topic I'm interested in, as it means I can at least think of things to say.

Yes totally but assume that’s normal?

I'm no authority on what is or is not normal, but if a topic is important to my friend then it becomes important to me. Even if it's just something dull like they love Cath Kidston fabrics, I'd try to relate to them by mentioning textiles that I like or that remind me of Cath Kidston. I don't find this difficult and it feels 'normal' to me.

Totally normal to me. I do it in work meetings sometimes too when people are talking about something boring. I do it to my DH a lot too but do at least admit to him that I haven't been listening to whatever he might have been going on about

I'm terrible for zoning out during conversations, especially if it's not something I'm interested in. I do try really hard to pay attention and to take it all in but more often then not I've no idea what the person I'm talking to has just said because my mind has wandered off and I'm either having an internal dialogue with myself or thinking about something really trivial.

I also watch the television with subtitles on, because I'm more likely to stay engaged and take in what's being said if I'm reading it.

I’m the opposite. I’m socially awkward and never know when to shut up so something less interesting is fab because I come away knowing that they’ve enjoyed the conversation (something I’m far from certain about with most conversations).

@TiredMum30 I do that with subtitles on TV too. I'm so glad I'm not alone!

I hear you OP - I am a rather quiet, reserved, private and slightly introverted personaliy, also autistic, and socially awkward. Can talk and engage at length, with others, on subjects which interest me - history, natural history, botany (hence my user name!), languages, scientific instruments, horology, gardening, but totally disassociate and switch off whenever people start talking about things which bore me like sport of any kind, television programmes, celebrity culture and so on. I cannot even feign an interest in such things, and cannot be bothered to listen. I realise that this comes across as incredibly rude, but why do I want to waste my time listening to 'stuff' in which I have absolutely no interest?

I dont zone out but it's taken some work. I'm autistic and ADHD

Sometimes when I’m on the phone to someone, and not fully engaged, I’ll be multitasking by googling something or doing some life admin. task, and blame my lack of attention on a bad line/signal fading, if I have to ask them to repeat something I haven’t taken in

Well, maybe your friends listen to you even if you talk about something that they are not very interested in sometimes? So you can listen to a friend talk for a little bit about something you are not very interested in. Ask questions. Learn more. You care about each other. With friends, it is a give and take in conversations.

Yes 100%
it does depend how much I value the other person, I tend not to do it with people I’m close with. Some strangers waffle on about themselves… I’m not sure they even notice I haven’t been listening

@WhatcomesafteraRainbow i do it even when conversing with people I love and would do anything for even with my best friends they’re interested in things I am not so when they talk about them I struggle to stay focused it’s the reason I also didn’t learn very well when I was in school I would just drift away mentally lol

Yes all the time! I can't help it but my mind goes elsewhere while I make polite noises and gestures. I'm sure people do that to me too so maybe it evens out?