Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Obsessive thoughts

11 replies

Mummyrj18 · 20/03/2024 11:50

Hi feeling quite desperate today. I posted recently about having horrible thoughts that I don't love my children and I'll never be a good mum again. That I'll never that loving feeling again. I can't find that maternal feeling I normally feel. My mind always telling I'd rather be somewhere else away from my kids. I try not to be away from them in case it comes true. It's making me feel so sick ans anxious. I want to cry but can't. Keep thinking my personality has changed and keep trying to prove that I am good mum and a nice person. Usually I can think 'nice' thoughts that counteract the anxiety a bit and calm down and feel connected to them again but today I feel like I can't even access the nice thoughts. Sometimes reading about ocd and intrusive thoughts makes me feel better and I can rationalise everything better but I can't see though it today. Trying to remember who I really am feeL like I'm faking it all the time Please help xx

OP posts:
Pineappledancer · 20/03/2024 12:04

I have been there. How old are you kids? Have you had any talking therapy or CBT? These thoughts you are having just now are not really true. I try to correct myself when I say things like "never" and "cant". I am struggling just now and my head is often swimming with terrible thoughts. It is hard but having been there and been out the other side a few times I know it does get better and you do get back to being yourself, it seems impossible when you ate caught up in it, but you will get there x

sarahc336 · 20/03/2024 12:25

Cbt therapist here op. The worst thing you can do with intrusive thoughts is try push them away, it only makes you have them more. Like the pink elephant experiment, you can think of anything in the works, literally anything but not pink elephants....:most people are now thinking of pink elephants.
Remember thoughts aren't always true, just because your having it doesn't mean it's factual, your more likely having the thoughts as they make you anxious, you push them away so they pop back I , you then thinknits returned it must be true etc. ocd tends to present itself as the morale opposite of the person so the fact your concerned about your children tells me that your actually a very caring mum who would hate the thought of being a bad mum, this is why the thoughts are affecting you so much. We all have intrusive thoughts, but the intrusive thought that you need to buy milk on the way home doesn't hold as much emotional affect so we just brush that one off and forgot we even had it, being a bad mum on the other hand sticks, you remember that one as you hated having it.
I would aim to access some cbt via the nhs, cbt is the recommended treatment for ocd. You can also try an anti depressant, something like sertraline and there are lots of good self help books you can buy that are likely to help you at least understand ocd. Good luck op

Whycantgiraffesdance · 20/03/2024 13:41

So sorry you’re still struggling @Mummyrj18 I think I remember some of your other posts.

have u been to see your gp? I’d definitely do this and see what help they can offer whether it’s antidepressants or counselling xx

Mummyrj18 · 21/03/2024 07:53

Pineappledancer · 20/03/2024 12:04

I have been there. How old are you kids? Have you had any talking therapy or CBT? These thoughts you are having just now are not really true. I try to correct myself when I say things like "never" and "cant". I am struggling just now and my head is often swimming with terrible thoughts. It is hard but having been there and been out the other side a few times I know it does get better and you do get back to being yourself, it seems impossible when you ate caught up in it, but you will get there x

Thank you, definitely can't see my way out of it just now. My kids are 13,9 and 3. I've always felt so close to them and on bad days they make everything feel better. But I can't feel those feelings just now and it scares me. I was meant to have an appt today with a mental health team but it's been cancelled for the second time which has made me feel a bit helpless today.

OP posts:
Mummyrj18 · 21/03/2024 07:55

sarahc336 · 20/03/2024 12:25

Cbt therapist here op. The worst thing you can do with intrusive thoughts is try push them away, it only makes you have them more. Like the pink elephant experiment, you can think of anything in the works, literally anything but not pink elephants....:most people are now thinking of pink elephants.
Remember thoughts aren't always true, just because your having it doesn't mean it's factual, your more likely having the thoughts as they make you anxious, you push them away so they pop back I , you then thinknits returned it must be true etc. ocd tends to present itself as the morale opposite of the person so the fact your concerned about your children tells me that your actually a very caring mum who would hate the thought of being a bad mum, this is why the thoughts are affecting you so much. We all have intrusive thoughts, but the intrusive thought that you need to buy milk on the way home doesn't hold as much emotional affect so we just brush that one off and forgot we even had it, being a bad mum on the other hand sticks, you remember that one as you hated having it.
I would aim to access some cbt via the nhs, cbt is the recommended treatment for ocd. You can also try an anti depressant, something like sertraline and there are lots of good self help books you can buy that are likely to help you at least understand ocd. Good luck op

Thank you, that's really helpful. I would love some sort of therapy to help but it's so hard to access. I was meant to have an appt today that's been cancelled for he second time. So scared of never feeling back to myself again have a constant heavy feeling in my chest just so anxious all the time. X

OP posts:
Mummyrj18 · 21/03/2024 07:58

Whycantgiraffesdance · 20/03/2024 13:41

So sorry you’re still struggling @Mummyrj18 I think I remember some of your other posts.

have u been to see your gp? I’d definitely do this and see what help they can offer whether it’s antidepressants or counselling xx

Hi how have you been doing ? I have seen my gP and I am on sertraline but not feeling much better yet. Meant to see mental health team today but they have cancelled. Been trying to just be as normal as I can and hope I feel better but the longer it goes on I feel more desperate ! Hope you are ok x

OP posts:
Whycantgiraffesdance · 21/03/2024 10:21

Mummyrj18 · 21/03/2024 07:58

Hi how have you been doing ? I have seen my gP and I am on sertraline but not feeling much better yet. Meant to see mental health team today but they have cancelled. Been trying to just be as normal as I can and hope I feel better but the longer it goes on I feel more desperate ! Hope you are ok x

Ah I’m so sorry, I know the feeling, how long have you been on the Setraline now? Can they up the dosage at all?

I was diagnosed with PND and awaiting my appt with the perinatal team next week, on new ADs but they haven’t made any difference yet. I’m trying to get out and keep going as best I can but my anxiety is still through the roof and I worry everyday that I’m never going to get better/feel normal again!! 😫

so I can’t really offer anything useful but I know how u are feeling and totally sympathise!! ❤️xx

Mummyrj18 · 21/03/2024 10:28

Whycantgiraffesdance · 21/03/2024 10:21

Ah I’m so sorry, I know the feeling, how long have you been on the Setraline now? Can they up the dosage at all?

I was diagnosed with PND and awaiting my appt with the perinatal team next week, on new ADs but they haven’t made any difference yet. I’m trying to get out and keep going as best I can but my anxiety is still through the roof and I worry everyday that I’m never going to get better/feel normal again!! 😫

so I can’t really offer anything useful but I know how u are feeling and totally sympathise!! ❤️xx

I'm 6 weeks into sertraline, my gp suggested going up to 150 but I thought I would wait to see the mental health team since they know best. So frustrating waiting for appointments and help. Sorry you're still feeling rubbish too, the fear of never feeling better is the scariest but I'm sure lots of people have told you and myself that it will get better ! I keep trying to keep that thought in my head but it's hard to believe. Do you feel really disconnected from everyone xx

OP posts:
Whycantgiraffesdance · 21/03/2024 10:36

Yea everyone says it gets better but it’s so hard when you’re in the thick of it to see that! I also think because anti depressants have worked so well for me in the past I’m getting despondent that these new ones aren’t kicking in! 😔

I hope you get to see the mental health team soon, I was under home treatment for a few weeks when things got too bad and they were brilliant for support.

yea I totally get the disconnected thing, I think it’s because we view everyone else as ‘normal’ and wonder why we are so different! And I don’t know about u but I’ve isolated myself a bit because I’m too anxious to see my friends and socialise, they still check in all the time but in my head I’m imagining them all having a whale of a time and I’m stuck at home with my little anxious brain! 🤣

do u have any support? x

Mummyrj18 · 21/03/2024 13:50

Whycantgiraffesdance · 21/03/2024 10:36

Yea everyone says it gets better but it’s so hard when you’re in the thick of it to see that! I also think because anti depressants have worked so well for me in the past I’m getting despondent that these new ones aren’t kicking in! 😔

I hope you get to see the mental health team soon, I was under home treatment for a few weeks when things got too bad and they were brilliant for support.

yea I totally get the disconnected thing, I think it’s because we view everyone else as ‘normal’ and wonder why we are so different! And I don’t know about u but I’ve isolated myself a bit because I’m too anxious to see my friends and socialise, they still check in all the time but in my head I’m imagining them all having a whale of a time and I’m stuck at home with my little anxious brain! 🤣

do u have any support? x

I know it's hard not to feel jealous of "normal" people just out living their lives ! I have been on sertraline before too and it seemed to work but like you disappointed I'm not feeling much improvement yet 😥
I have a partner but I don't think he totally understands just tells me to pretty much snap out of it and not let it get to me 😏
I lost my mum last June, she would usually be my support at times like this, I spent pretty much all my time with her xx

OP posts:
Whycantgiraffesdance · 21/03/2024 16:21

So sorry you lost your mum ❤️‍🩹 do you think that could be contributing to the way your’re feeling now? Grief can do very funny things to a person xx

New posts on this thread. Refresh page