I'm struggling at work and don't know what to do

[Sadandstressed5]

I've had a personal improvement plan sprung on me . I'm not happy about it because all of the work I've been doing I've not been shown how to do , but I'm happy to up skill and learn. I've only been there for 6 months, passed probation no problem.
But my reaction to it is extreme. I've been out of the workplace for many years prior to this raising a family. I'm in my 40s. I suppose it's shocked me and my reaction is to immediately go on sick leave , find a new job and then leave as soon as possible. I feel like I now hate the place and my colleagues and can't see how I can stay. I'm annoyed that nothing was brought to my attention prior to this and then just spring the PIP from nowhere
Any advice on how I deal with this. I was told about it on Friday, Meeting is Monday morning. I will be gracious and agree to everything they say but inside I will be screaming and wanting to run out of the place.
I've been my own boss and in charge of my own life for so long I suppose I'm struggling with the adjustment of being what to do and scrutinised. I believe I'm a hard worker and I come across as pleasant and eager . I've had to return to work because my husband had a nervous breakdown and has lost his job. So I'm under a lot of stress and pressure at home and now at work. I'm a very emotional person anyway and think I have undiagnosed adhd. I appear calm and collected to colleagues etc but inside me and at home I crumble , over react , sorry and stres.
How do I deal with this? I want to run away and hide from it

That was meant to say inside my head and when I'm at home in my safe place I crumble, stress, worry, over react. I now won't be able to sleep, will focus on it completely and be distracted from everything else . My blood pressure will raise and my anxiety levels will be high. My solution to this is to leave immediately but we can't because of finances. I want to go on sick but not been there long enough to qualify for company sick pay so would only get SSP

Why have you started another thread on this? There is already an active one.

This sounds difficult.

But I think you are catastrophising. Can you mentally give it a month to see how things go, and then give yourself permission to leave if things don't improve? It's sounds as through you enjoy the role so it would be a shame to leave and risk moving to another job which doesn't work for you either.

Can you take an hour to yourself this weekend. Go out to a coffee shop and make a list of what you'd like to say in the meeting.
Question why it's not been raised before
Ask for specific targets
Tell them you expect training and support
Clarify when the review meetings will be and what you'll be expected to demonstrate.
Ask for a mentor if you think that would help.
Ask for weekly meetings with your manager if that's a style of working that suits you.

In the meantime, tell your DH what's going on and ask if he feels able to take some of the strain at home while you concentrate on the PIP.

Maybe go to your GP to see if they can recommend some mindfulness techniques to help you relax and sleep. Or medication if they feel appropriate.

Good luck. This can't be a pleasant experience and the stress has obviously caused all sorts of worry. I hope your employer is supportive and keen to help you move forward in your role.

@Mrsttcno1 Didn't realise I wasn't allowed to post on another board? The other post was for work guidance, this post is for mental health support

It might not be you at all, why have you been allowed to do work you weren't shown how to do or under supervision. Maybe they realise you've not been given the support, training and supervision you were entitled to and just let you get on with it. It canbe hard when you've been out the workplace for a long time but if you enjoy the job and would prefer to stay and get trained up properly go to the meeting, see what they say, you can say you're surprised this seems to have come out of nowhere and would like an explanation.