To think I don't need help as I wouldn't actually do it

[Iheartshreddies]

I've been on and off depressed my whole adult life. Today for no reason other than a traffic nightmare I thought "I could abandon the car right here in the road and jump off this bridge". My kids faces flashed into my mind and I cried. I know I wouldn't do that to them so I guess it's OK? I know if I spoke of this in real life people would panic. I know I wouldn't do it. Is it normal?

I'm guessing it's something some people will relate to but sorry you are feeling this way.

Sweetheart it's not ok to feel like this. Even if you know you won't do it you still feel deeply unhappy. Are you getting any help from your GP or therapy? Are you on any medication to help you?

That must have been horrible for you.

If you keep getting those intrusive thoughts, or if you find yourself dwelling on then at all, then it's important you get help.

To be honest I think that is ok in a way, you knew you wouldn't do it, you thought of your kids faces and you thought rationally. We all have intrusive thoughts, ok not so extreme and I am not minimising this but we could all do anything bad but we have a choice not to, which you also chose not to. Are you on tablets? Don't suffer any longer if you are not

Everyone gets intrusive thoughts from time to time, from simple thoughts to dark ones. That's normal but if it becomes more common and becomes unmanageable you need to speak to someone. No one will judge you for this, people will be glad to help x

Don't measure your need for help in terms of how authentically suicidal you are. In reality, reference to suicide is just a desperate way to try and pressure others to acknowledge your unhappiness, rather than an objective measure of the extent of your unhappiness.

I'm very sorry you're feeling like this. It sounds like your life is very difficult at the moment.
Have you spoken to your doctor about it?

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources:

www.mumsnet.com/webguide/mental-health. You can also go to the Samaritans website: www.samaritans.org or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

@Iheartshreddies

I'm not sure it matters if it's 'normal' or not, it upset you & that matters.

what help are you currently getting for depression/anxiety?

how are you feeling generally?

Great post. Intrusive thoughts are just thoughts and our minds can take us some dark places sometimes but thoughts are just notions that flit through our minds. Talk to your doctor - depression is not something you have to live with.

I've also been depressed on and off for a lot of my adult life.
I'm on mirtazapine now, and have been for ages, but they make sure I function and am happy.

Are you on any medication?

I've had suicidal thoughts since I got to peri menopause. No one seems that bothered..

I wouldnt do it, so it's not really relevant. I think the point might be why is your thought pattern turning to suicide as an even very remote possibility or option.

What is it an alternative to?

Thank you everyone. I've just broken down and told my husband. I'm currently unmedicated as I've had some adverse reactions both physical and mental, so I have felt I'm better off self managing it. Clearly I'm not doing so well now and may need a rethink on that.

@Iheartshreddies hi hun. These are intrusive thoughts, and I get them ALOT. I always get thoughts of harming myself and then i break down because I picture and think about my kids. Please to speak to your gp about a possible referral to mental health, sending hugs x

Definitely don’t jump off a bridge. Look at Beth Mathews blog to see that it isn’t a good solution.